Sometimes I forget I have BiPolar (BP).

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by totoro, Jul 12, 2008.

  1. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    So I sunk... into a black hole. About 2 weeks ago. Probably longer, hmm. Brain crushing, not moving, too down to even think about death.
    Made it to my doctor, she put me on Prozac, oops. I had started feeling a bit better prior to starting it, but she was worried. So I was feeling a little better, but then I was a zombie, head just felt foggy, made me so much worse. I was in a daze. I would go through the motions and then collapse in my bed. I hadn't been on the computer since the end of June.
    I think what triggered it was two days of no sleep, insurance would not approve my Ambien and it just sent me out of control. I got the Ambien the second night so I only missed it one night... but it just triggered it. Then husband were arguing about something stupid, it just spiraled.
    I have been doing pretty good for about a week, but husband family came in last Saturday!!! SO 9 of us at my house. Yes me doing all of the cooking. They just left. Now i have people coming to look at our house, which is not officially on the market in the morning!!!:anxious::surprise:
    So I am cleaning.
    We move in 2 weeks... K is doing so bad, she has some new venom in her rages and just yesterday said she wants to "Fly and just die" Lots of death talk. I am so sad for her.
    We are weaning off of the Depakote. upping the Seroquel for now. psychiatrist has been great, e-mailing back and forth. We go in to see her right when we get to Tucson.
    I am so nervous about school starting Aug. 7th. The heat, the instability... she is worse than ever. I just don't know what to do.

    Any way I feel so much better and am still positive about things, as positive as I can.
    There is more but I won't blah it all out right now!
    I miss you guy's...
  2. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Well, nothing like a little pressure to get things going! I'm sorry you've been going through the mill like this.

    Will worrying about school change anything in August? Nah. I know it's easy to say and not easy to do, but the bottom line is that K is having a tough time and so are you. Try and concentrate on the present. Ultimately, the future will handle itself once you get there, so try not to worry too much about what you can't change.

    So glad you're back. Do yourself a favor. You and K go and hit the local Dairy Queen or Friendly's or whatever you have nearby and agree to not talk about anything but fun times that you've had together. Get a giant sundae or whatever is really, really fattening and bad for the two of you. Sometimes setting the rules (only fun conversation) ahead of time when it's just you and me time, actually takes all of the stress off.

    We've missed you and glad you're back!

  3. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    I'm glad you got to the doctor, got some medications, and are feeling a little bit better.

  4. I'm glad you are feeling better!

    You have a very full plate, be sure to take it slowly. I always think to myself, just one foot in front of the other.....
  5. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    We've missed you, T. I'm so sorry you were in the bottomless pit. Just keep looking up!

    I'm sorry K is struggling so. It's not fair, dammit.

  6. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    Toto...I've opened the VIP corner for you. Rauol is there, got some fancy drinks with umbrellas and ocean music in the background.

    Glad you're back, hon.

  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Take care of yourself. Hopefully the house will sell, the move will go smoothly and life will calm down a little. Hugs
  8. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Two days with-no sleep? THAT will do it!
    I have a friend who is BiPolar (BP) (in fact, I posted here a while back and you helped me with-some info) and if he misses 1 split second of sleep, it sets him waaaaay back.
    And the fact that you're moving, and k has been venomous ... that's very stressful. You need peace and quiet.
    I'm sending peace and quiet through the DSL line.
    Take care.
    P.S. The fact that your subject heading said "Sometimes I forget" is a good thing!!! It means you can be on an even keel for an extended time. Way To Go. I hope you get back to that point asap. So sorry about the Prozac.
  9. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    You know you have all my hugs in the world. I am just so freaking sorry.

    Read Star's response to GVC's post "Herbert is Lonely". First laugh I have had all day.
  10. ML

    ML Guest

    I'm so sorry to hear you've been so down. I am glad that your company left. That sure is a lot to deal with when you're sick. Try not to worry about school and enjoy the rest of the summer. Mine goes back Aug 12th. Way too soon.

    I'm thinking about you and sending hugs. ML
  11. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    One day at a time, babe. Sometimes that is the only thing to keep us going.

    Sorry you were in a bad way. Very glad that you are doing better. And happy to see you back.

    Scoop up K and give her a hug for me. Then give yourself one.
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Hugs, toto. Hope tomorrow is better.
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Thanks you guys!!! I feel better... In the morning the people are coming to look at the house! yikes. I sat and held K tonight. Tried to reassure her she will be OK one day. That I love her.
    We did go for BURRITOS... her favorite, then ice cream! We will go out to breakfast also tomorrow because the people looking at the house are coming early. I am just trying to not let this junk eat me up.
    i don't care so much about any of the move stuff, it is just the look in K's eyes. It is so haunted right now.
    I try to remind myself that everything and anything can wait... including school. Her stability and health is most important. If she were sick with any other disease I wouldn't question it, Know what I mean??
    I just want to thank you all again. I will try to be here to support y'all as much as possible before the move!!!
  14. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    Hugs, hugs, hugs!

    Burritos and ice cream...sounds good to me!
  15. Christy

    Christy New Member

    ((((hugs))))) Hope all the change goes smoothly and yields positive results.
  16. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Deaw Ownda Oh da Cat bus

    I wouse sended to jou a someting but I know no wher you lives.

    Are you still in I dah hoe or is you in Arid Zona?

    If youze in Arid Zone - you needsa sem me yo address fo real - my shizzle.
  17. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    :byebye:On the Cat bus.