Sometimes I Wonder

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by meowbunny, Nov 18, 2007.

  1. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    I mean I really really wonder how old my daughter is. Do you think common sense says mom would need food in the house today? She did leave me the car but there is no way I can drive it on medications while shaking like a leaf due to lack of food. How hard would it have been to buy a loaf of bread, some bananas, milk? Just some very basics. Do our kids really have such little common sense? Am I expecting too much to want some food in the house?

    She's working a double shift. Started at 11 am, gets off around 11 pm. That means she left around 10 am. If you can't tell, I'm hungry, tired and cranky. I am going to scrounge in the kitchen again. So far, I've had 2 hard-boiled eggs (there were 14 when I went into the hospital), some rolls I brought home from the hospital, about one-fourth of a tomato -- she left it out and it got rather soft. I think I spotted one hot dog. And then I guess I could eat condiments or maybe some cat food or canned veggies. She even ate up all the soups but the ones I'm allergic to.

    Okay, I came up with something -- hot dog, canned peaches. Don't have to stand too long and it's edible.

    So, how old do they have to be to get the idea that when people get home from surgery they need nourishment and really can't get it themselves?
  2. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    :sushi: :spaghetti:
    Sending you some cyber food! Sorry, it could not be real!!!!!
    Seriously! Our kids.
    Mine would have definitely done the same, and than probably had the gall to ask me, "whats for dinner mom?" After he got home from work. :highvoltage:
  3. Suz

    Suz (the future) MRS. GERE

    MB, I'm sure it simply didn't occur to her that you wouldn't be able to fend for yourself. If she is like Rob, there is little (if no) empathy...and, you're right, NO common sense. Besides, like I said, they are so focused on themselves that it would never occur to them to think of us. I don't think it's malicious, it's just outside of their chemical radar.


    I'm wish I lived closer and could bring some food and pamper you a bit. Better yet, I wish I could smack your difficult child upside the head. sheesh! :grrr:


  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Some of our kids never get past this: "if it does not directly affect ME, it is not important enough to give though to".

    I was worried that Copper would never get it. She did. I am now sure that Tink will NEVER get it.

    Sending you e-meatloaf.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    husband is 59 and he has yet to "get it". Thru all my major surgeries (many) and the fractured skull and shattered shoulder from the truck accident....

    When I came home it was business as usual. I cooked and cleaned. If I didn't the kids would starve and go naked.

    That's bad enough, but then husband would go and brag about how he helped me so MUCH while I recovered!

    Sad part, my kids take after HIM on this sort of thing.

    Wish I could phhht you some food thru the computer screen.


    PS Although I should say that Travis always picks up food like milk and such if he sees we need it and he has money.
  6. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    It was sad last night. We had a huge, ugly fight. I finally figured out the problem around 3 am. She wanted kudos and huzzahs for doing her basics -- taking care of the pets, going to work, seeing me at the hospital, putting up the clean dishes. I wanted her to do my definition of the basics -- take care of the pets, semi-maintain the kitchen, keep her room semi-neat, visit me at the hospital. If possible, start getting the living/dining room ready for Thanksgiving. Making sure someone coming home from the hospital has food is basic common sense to me. To her, this was above and beyond -- I was home, I could have asked her to get it. She would have happily done it.

    Yes, I understand she just started working and it is hard and stressful to be a waitress, but I'm not the one who limited my options by quitting high school, by quitting jobs because hanging with friends was more fun, by not being willing to do the work to learn a skill. Yes, I understand that having your mother in the hospital is frightening, especially more so when you find out she was truly ill and could have died.

    I was reading Timer Lady's post in General about Kt's behavior and comments last night. Sadly, they were the same idiotic comments I was hearing here. The problem is Kt is 13, my child is 20 and closer to 21 than 20 right now.

    I really don't want to do this any more. I am tired. I love my daughter with all my heart. I don't like her very much right now. She's self-centered, selfish and I'm sick of it. There is too much stress. I need a break!
  7. goldenguru

    goldenguru Active Member

    Mine may not have thought to get some groceries on their own. But, I have learned that they are not mind readers. Most of the time they try to be accommodating if I express that I have a need.

    Sometimes (especially with our kids) we just have to spell it out - because they are so used to us taking care of everything.
  8. Anna1345

    Anna1345 New Member

    {{{{HUGS}}}} Hang in there!
  9. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    I can so relate to this. We spent thirteen hours in the car yesterday with difficult child and easy child 1. At every stop difficult child goes off by herself to buy herself junk food and trinkets, while wife and I get easy child 1 into her coat and shoes, take her to the restroom, pump gas, and incidentally attend to our own needs as well. When we specifically asked difficult child to do things, she would (albeit with much rolling of eyes and heaving of sighs), but otherwise the thought never occurred to her.
  10. Star*

    Star* call 911

    Quote: I could eat condiments or maybe some cat food :pet: :rofl:

    I swear, if you write us and tell us you've clawed the furniture, suddenly crave tuna or start chasing mice we may have to talk.

    Since you can get on line - check with your grocery stores locally and see who can deliver you some food. My Mom lives in a fairly tiny town and they have 2 grocery stores that deliver mostly for medically and aged shut in.

    Worth a call - sorry you are still feeling bad.

    OH and if they do deliver - keep the goodies hid under your bed. A loaf of bread and a jar of pnut butter go a long way to staving off hunger.
  11. Jen

    Jen New Member

    she probably didn think of it if she is used to you being the mom and doing it.
    I find more and more each day people in general do as little as possible, and never intiates a brain cell to think one step further.
    I hate when I am so hungry I cant think or see stright either.
    Hope your enjoying what you dohave yo eat for now.