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Sometimes we don't see what's in front of us clear enough
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<blockquote data-quote="Tiapet" data-source="post: 539164" data-attributes="member: 455"><p>Hound, you are right, it is going to take some time before this will feel right to me. His words just hit me square in a place that hadn't reached before. I wasn't ready for anything this year exactly except for acknowledgement so it's a small step and it's enough. I'm always having stuff sneak up on me and have for years and he's had to deal with so much of it and we just have worked through it gently. He is really great about it because I have so very many triggers and often don't know it at the moment but can look back after the moment passes and see it and then we discuss. He will do just about anything within his power to make my life better in anyway he can and does. He knows about the history but not many specific details until I share. He has told me his life's mission is to see me through what ever amount of time I have in what ever state I am. He knew when he got involved with me that my health was on a down hill and could end in the future. Who does this? Only someone who truly cares!</p><p></p><p>Buddy, thank you. I'm not ready for celebration at this point. The acknowledgement was enough for this year. Tiny step forward. Sharing was another and was done specifically in hopes of helping, if only 1 person.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Keista. Yes, it did. Each piece I share in time of my life, the things that were done does help and that I learned a while ago. It's just not an easy thing as there was so much done (not just by ex). The more you share the easier it gets in time they say. For some of the things it has, others not so easy.</p><p></p><p>Thank you Step. Yes, several "steps". LOL I'm not looking for the acknowledgement or I don't know what you call it. I just wanted to get it out there in hopes to truly help some one, anyone.</p><p></p><p>Thank you as well Liahona. I'm sorry that Fathers Day is a trigger for you. I wish I had the magic for anyone who experiences things like this but I don't. I just take it one day at a time and when something occurs that triggers something I try to deal with it as soon as I realize that it has happened. Something like this has been going on for a long time and has had wide sweeping effects. I really didn't realize until he put it the way he did that I was "commemorating" the day. When put that way, well it puts a whole new spin on it and I don't like it looking like that. I don't want it to be like that because it's just one more piece of my life that was taken away and I let it this time. No more!</p><p></p><p>I'm sorry you had to go through what you did Janet. I can relate on some level to that experience as well, though I was not kidnapped. I was 17 and I was raped as well. I actually got over that a bit easier then this but I still have many triggers too from it. Sharing helped with that a lot and why I did better. I think abuse tends to make you feel more shame/embarrassment/etc, though you don't really have a reason to, somehow there is a whole lot more to it. I haven't been able to wrap my head around it and I think I've really tried to just put it behind me as much as possible. I believe it comes partly from the fact that you stay with your abuser when you really should have left where you don't "stay" with your rapist perhaps. I don't know if that's the answer. Just a guess.</p><p></p><p>Really, thank you to everyone for being supportive. Thank you to everyone who has read this and not responded. I know you're out there and I TRULY hope that I have helped someone!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Tiapet, post: 539164, member: 455"] Hound, you are right, it is going to take some time before this will feel right to me. His words just hit me square in a place that hadn't reached before. I wasn't ready for anything this year exactly except for acknowledgement so it's a small step and it's enough. I'm always having stuff sneak up on me and have for years and he's had to deal with so much of it and we just have worked through it gently. He is really great about it because I have so very many triggers and often don't know it at the moment but can look back after the moment passes and see it and then we discuss. He will do just about anything within his power to make my life better in anyway he can and does. He knows about the history but not many specific details until I share. He has told me his life's mission is to see me through what ever amount of time I have in what ever state I am. He knew when he got involved with me that my health was on a down hill and could end in the future. Who does this? Only someone who truly cares! Buddy, thank you. I'm not ready for celebration at this point. The acknowledgement was enough for this year. Tiny step forward. Sharing was another and was done specifically in hopes of helping, if only 1 person. Thank you Keista. Yes, it did. Each piece I share in time of my life, the things that were done does help and that I learned a while ago. It's just not an easy thing as there was so much done (not just by ex). The more you share the easier it gets in time they say. For some of the things it has, others not so easy. Thank you Step. Yes, several "steps". LOL I'm not looking for the acknowledgement or I don't know what you call it. I just wanted to get it out there in hopes to truly help some one, anyone. Thank you as well Liahona. I'm sorry that Fathers Day is a trigger for you. I wish I had the magic for anyone who experiences things like this but I don't. I just take it one day at a time and when something occurs that triggers something I try to deal with it as soon as I realize that it has happened. Something like this has been going on for a long time and has had wide sweeping effects. I really didn't realize until he put it the way he did that I was "commemorating" the day. When put that way, well it puts a whole new spin on it and I don't like it looking like that. I don't want it to be like that because it's just one more piece of my life that was taken away and I let it this time. No more! I'm sorry you had to go through what you did Janet. I can relate on some level to that experience as well, though I was not kidnapped. I was 17 and I was raped as well. I actually got over that a bit easier then this but I still have many triggers too from it. Sharing helped with that a lot and why I did better. I think abuse tends to make you feel more shame/embarrassment/etc, though you don't really have a reason to, somehow there is a whole lot more to it. I haven't been able to wrap my head around it and I think I've really tried to just put it behind me as much as possible. I believe it comes partly from the fact that you stay with your abuser when you really should have left where you don't "stay" with your rapist perhaps. I don't know if that's the answer. Just a guess. Really, thank you to everyone for being supportive. Thank you to everyone who has read this and not responded. I know you're out there and I TRULY hope that I have helped someone!!! [/QUOTE]
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