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Son 32 Still lives with parents
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 757027" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>My son used to rob us blind also. He was using pills and not heroin but it doesn't matter.</p><p></p><p>He got into our Christmas fund and took our gift money. We continued to not be able to believe it every time he did this! This was not him. This was not how he was raised. How could he betray us so?? He even stole from his two older brothers who lived with us for some time after college. He idolizes them. That could have been a wonderful time for us all to live together one last time. Instead it was a nightmare. They are both married and successful now and we are very proud of them.</p><p></p><p>Addiction is a disease. That is another nail in the guilt that we feel when we somewhat have to play hardball and turn our backs on the addict. It's not normal parenting by any stretch of the imagination. But you are not in a normal situation.</p><p></p><p>My son no longer uses drugs and is back to himself and would never steal from us. We all went through a lot and HE worked hard to earn our trust back. I had little to do with him from the age of 20-23. He is now with us again, going to college full time and getting good grades, is responsible, is working too. We are in a happy place but I think that is because we said "NO MORE" not in my home. As soon as he is done with his degree he will be on his own. He knows this is temporary and he is only with us because HE is living a life we can be proud of. He is moving forward.</p><p></p><p>On the contrary, my good friend's son died from a heroin overdose in her home in July. He was 26. She was not able to mentally deal with his drug use and ignored her reality and let him and his girlfriend live in his bedroom with her for over a year. She knew he was using something with a needle but wasn't sure if it was H. She didn't have the heart to kick him out even though I kept telling her that SHE had to do something. She got mad at me. She thought I didn't understand. She finally did have him leave and he struggled and went from rehab to rehab and to live with his father. He finally was sober for 7 months and was working steady and going to meetings and she let him come back and he was okay for awhile and they truly reconnected and then one night he used and died that night in her home. He had gone to a party and she had begged him not to. He was in a coma for ten days but didn't make it. She now has so much guilt because she still thinks she could have prevented it. She will never be the same.</p><p></p><p>My childhood friend lost her nephew to a heroin overdose last year also. I grew up living next door to her and her two sisters. The younger sister's 22 year old son started using drugs in his teens like my son. Long story short she never got tough with him. She would bail him out of jail, provide him with a car and money and basically just let him do what he wanted and live at home even though she didn't like what he was doing or how he was living. This went on for years. She would call me to talk to me about it because she didn't know anyone that had dealt with it. In the end SHE did not have the strength to change which was the only things SHE did have control of. He lost his life in his very own room in his very own home. She found him when she returned home from working the night shift one morning.</p><p></p><p>So what I'm saying is, these are two people that I know firsthand who had their son's die in their home. Having your son in your home is a false sense of keeping him safe. Honestly I hope this helps you to see that things aren't always as they seem. </p><p></p><p>We all know you are trying so just wanted to tell you a little bit about what I know.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there and keep posting and reading.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 757027, member: 15032"] My son used to rob us blind also. He was using pills and not heroin but it doesn't matter. He got into our Christmas fund and took our gift money. We continued to not be able to believe it every time he did this! This was not him. This was not how he was raised. How could he betray us so?? He even stole from his two older brothers who lived with us for some time after college. He idolizes them. That could have been a wonderful time for us all to live together one last time. Instead it was a nightmare. They are both married and successful now and we are very proud of them. Addiction is a disease. That is another nail in the guilt that we feel when we somewhat have to play hardball and turn our backs on the addict. It's not normal parenting by any stretch of the imagination. But you are not in a normal situation. My son no longer uses drugs and is back to himself and would never steal from us. We all went through a lot and HE worked hard to earn our trust back. I had little to do with him from the age of 20-23. He is now with us again, going to college full time and getting good grades, is responsible, is working too. We are in a happy place but I think that is because we said "NO MORE" not in my home. As soon as he is done with his degree he will be on his own. He knows this is temporary and he is only with us because HE is living a life we can be proud of. He is moving forward. On the contrary, my good friend's son died from a heroin overdose in her home in July. He was 26. She was not able to mentally deal with his drug use and ignored her reality and let him and his girlfriend live in his bedroom with her for over a year. She knew he was using something with a needle but wasn't sure if it was H. She didn't have the heart to kick him out even though I kept telling her that SHE had to do something. She got mad at me. She thought I didn't understand. She finally did have him leave and he struggled and went from rehab to rehab and to live with his father. He finally was sober for 7 months and was working steady and going to meetings and she let him come back and he was okay for awhile and they truly reconnected and then one night he used and died that night in her home. He had gone to a party and she had begged him not to. He was in a coma for ten days but didn't make it. She now has so much guilt because she still thinks she could have prevented it. She will never be the same. My childhood friend lost her nephew to a heroin overdose last year also. I grew up living next door to her and her two sisters. The younger sister's 22 year old son started using drugs in his teens like my son. Long story short she never got tough with him. She would bail him out of jail, provide him with a car and money and basically just let him do what he wanted and live at home even though she didn't like what he was doing or how he was living. This went on for years. She would call me to talk to me about it because she didn't know anyone that had dealt with it. In the end SHE did not have the strength to change which was the only things SHE did have control of. He lost his life in his very own room in his very own home. She found him when she returned home from working the night shift one morning. So what I'm saying is, these are two people that I know firsthand who had their son's die in their home. Having your son in your home is a false sense of keeping him safe. Honestly I hope this helps you to see that things aren't always as they seem. We all know you are trying so just wanted to tell you a little bit about what I know. Hang in there and keep posting and reading. [/QUOTE]
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