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Son 32 Still lives with parents
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 757189" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I will say one more thing. By stepping back we empower our children. We show them our confidence that they have the solutions for themselves. And we show them respect, to decide about their own lives. It is NOT to give up on them. It is NOT to give up hope that they can and will live well, at some point. What it is is to acknowledge that they are the deciders here. That their living better or well comes from their own decisions, their own efforts, their own motivation. Not ours. It is to acknowledge that truth. That we never, ever had the power to prevail over adults with their own power center and responsibility for their choices. They will be the ones to confront their addictions and their characters. There can be no other way.</p><p></p><p>There is a paradox here. By stepping back and acknowledging what has always been true, that they can manage as they decide, we may foster the very thing we seek, that they choose better and well. Our sons lives are their own business and their own responsibility. They are adult men.</p><p></p><p>If we are afraid, our fear is our own business and responsibility. It is not appropriately played out in their lives. This took me a long, long time to accept.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 757189, member: 18958"] I will say one more thing. By stepping back we empower our children. We show them our confidence that they have the solutions for themselves. And we show them respect, to decide about their own lives. It is NOT to give up on them. It is NOT to give up hope that they can and will live well, at some point. What it is is to acknowledge that they are the deciders here. That their living better or well comes from their own decisions, their own efforts, their own motivation. Not ours. It is to acknowledge that truth. That we never, ever had the power to prevail over adults with their own power center and responsibility for their choices. They will be the ones to confront their addictions and their characters. There can be no other way. There is a paradox here. By stepping back and acknowledging what has always been true, that they can manage as they decide, we may foster the very thing we seek, that they choose better and well. Our sons lives are their own business and their own responsibility. They are adult men. If we are afraid, our fear is our own business and responsibility. It is not appropriately played out in their lives. This took me a long, long time to accept. [/QUOTE]
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Son 32 Still lives with parents
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