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Son arrested
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 708078" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p><em> I love this. </em></p><p>I am of a divided mind on this. I can see your point of view. He got himself into this situation, he will get himself out, or not.</p><p></p><p>But I see your Dad's point of view: he is young with a drug addiction. He needs a family intervention. Sometimes the push has to come from loved ones. Sometimes it works. To go to court, to me, is not being enmeshed. It is not enabling. To me, it is not in itself, over the line.</p><p></p><p>The problem with all that--is that you have made a decision--based upon your process, values and your understanding of YOUR child and his and your needs.</p><p></p><p>Because your son is an adult, do you really have standing to demand court-ordered treatment? Or is your "standing" any more than that of your father? Can your father not himself go to the court?</p><p></p><p>And then, why is your Dad intervening in this to tell you to DO ANYTHING? That feels undermining.</p><p></p><p>It is clear to us that you are operating based upon a strongly held and well-thought sense of what is in your son's interest, your own, and your family's. Has your father sat down with you to understand YOU and YOUR position relative to your son? If not, that feels wrong to me that he would pressure you and guilt-trip you, if he has not taken the time to understand in a real way the merits of your position, and the needs and emotions which it is built upon.</p><p></p><p>None of us needs to be second-guessed in these hard, hard situations that we face. But at the same time we need all of the help and the support, and perspective that we can get. It is hard enough to GET TO any understanding of what is right, in situations which are fraught with danger, fear, sadness, guilt, responsibility and a million other mixed up things. At the same time I credit your father if he was coming from the place of care.</p><p></p><p>I wish this was not so hard....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 708078, member: 18958"] [I] I love this. [/I] I am of a divided mind on this. I can see your point of view. He got himself into this situation, he will get himself out, or not. But I see your Dad's point of view: he is young with a drug addiction. He needs a family intervention. Sometimes the push has to come from loved ones. Sometimes it works. To go to court, to me, is not being enmeshed. It is not enabling. To me, it is not in itself, over the line. The problem with all that--is that you have made a decision--based upon your process, values and your understanding of YOUR child and his and your needs. Because your son is an adult, do you really have standing to demand court-ordered treatment? Or is your "standing" any more than that of your father? Can your father not himself go to the court? And then, why is your Dad intervening in this to tell you to DO ANYTHING? That feels undermining. It is clear to us that you are operating based upon a strongly held and well-thought sense of what is in your son's interest, your own, and your family's. Has your father sat down with you to understand YOU and YOUR position relative to your son? If not, that feels wrong to me that he would pressure you and guilt-trip you, if he has not taken the time to understand in a real way the merits of your position, and the needs and emotions which it is built upon. None of us needs to be second-guessed in these hard, hard situations that we face. But at the same time we need all of the help and the support, and perspective that we can get. It is hard enough to GET TO any understanding of what is right, in situations which are fraught with danger, fear, sadness, guilt, responsibility and a million other mixed up things. At the same time I credit your father if he was coming from the place of care. I wish this was not so hard.... [/QUOTE]
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