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Son avoiding home after being released from juvenile hall
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 103285" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Hey - donchue think I haven't wondered just how bad I'd have to be in a particular location to "stay" there. </p><p></p><p>I got a call from difficult child yesterday = all tinsel, trees, fa la la la la</p><p></p><p>And I lost it. </p><p></p><p>I confronted him about being thrown out of the home, stealing, breaking into the mans garages, the puppy, the lies, the sleeping in until 11:30 - and then he said he had been trying harder after being given a second chance. I told him where they were intending for him to live if he were kicked out of there and THAT was a little shocker. (yeah team). Not home, Not the Ritz Carlton - a worse group home known for it's Department of Juvenile Justice like attitude, bad food, and thugs. </p><p></p><p>With that Dude said "Momma I'll call you later." I said Fine and hung up - not even an I love you was said between us. And I was in a foul, Christmas canceling, life hating mood for the rest of the evening. Even the dogs came to me and laid across my lap - not an easy feat for mine. </p><p></p><p>I did call the Group home and the man there told me that since last week difficult child has really been trying. I said WHATEVER. He said that difficult child talks to him more and that earlier that day he found difficult child sitting in the lounge all alone sobbing. When he was asked why he was so upset he said that his family didn't want him for Christmas. When the man said "I'm sure that isn't the case" I asked the man "LOOK - If he can't even treat the people he lives with with respect and decency WHY would I want him here?" and the man said "So you told him you didn't want him for Christmas? He told me in tears he'd be all alone, the only one here." and I said 'Yup you GOT IT." then I asked the man - "If being alone and spending a day crying about missing your family is the thing that helps him realize he needs to grow up - then let it happen, because I've had MORE than one Christmas sitting in my house alone crying over him - mostly NOT being there." </p><p></p><p>It didnt kill me, but it certainly has gotten me to the point that I'm fine with canceling gift giving, and tree decorating, baking and anything but card giving. I guess that's why giving cards has become so important to me - I choose to have nothing else. </p><p></p><p>The group home worker said he would talk to Dude but not let him know that we had talked. I'm sure someone is just trying to get out of being at that house for Christmas - sorry, that's YOUR job. </p><p></p><p>Willow - I really like your idea and I'm putting that into MY letter. Short as it is....I think you're right - I'd like to see what he thinks about having to write us. </p><p></p><p>Thanks everyone </p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 103285, member: 4964"] Hey - donchue think I haven't wondered just how bad I'd have to be in a particular location to "stay" there. I got a call from difficult child yesterday = all tinsel, trees, fa la la la la And I lost it. I confronted him about being thrown out of the home, stealing, breaking into the mans garages, the puppy, the lies, the sleeping in until 11:30 - and then he said he had been trying harder after being given a second chance. I told him where they were intending for him to live if he were kicked out of there and THAT was a little shocker. (yeah team). Not home, Not the Ritz Carlton - a worse group home known for it's Department of Juvenile Justice like attitude, bad food, and thugs. With that Dude said "Momma I'll call you later." I said Fine and hung up - not even an I love you was said between us. And I was in a foul, Christmas canceling, life hating mood for the rest of the evening. Even the dogs came to me and laid across my lap - not an easy feat for mine. I did call the Group home and the man there told me that since last week difficult child has really been trying. I said WHATEVER. He said that difficult child talks to him more and that earlier that day he found difficult child sitting in the lounge all alone sobbing. When he was asked why he was so upset he said that his family didn't want him for Christmas. When the man said "I'm sure that isn't the case" I asked the man "LOOK - If he can't even treat the people he lives with with respect and decency WHY would I want him here?" and the man said "So you told him you didn't want him for Christmas? He told me in tears he'd be all alone, the only one here." and I said 'Yup you GOT IT." then I asked the man - "If being alone and spending a day crying about missing your family is the thing that helps him realize he needs to grow up - then let it happen, because I've had MORE than one Christmas sitting in my house alone crying over him - mostly NOT being there." It didnt kill me, but it certainly has gotten me to the point that I'm fine with canceling gift giving, and tree decorating, baking and anything but card giving. I guess that's why giving cards has become so important to me - I choose to have nothing else. The group home worker said he would talk to Dude but not let him know that we had talked. I'm sure someone is just trying to get out of being at that house for Christmas - sorry, that's YOUR job. Willow - I really like your idea and I'm putting that into MY letter. Short as it is....I think you're right - I'd like to see what he thinks about having to write us. Thanks everyone Star [/QUOTE]
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Son avoiding home after being released from juvenile hall
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