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Parent Emeritus
Son called to be picked up from a dangerous situation-I refused. Sorry-VERY long!
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<blockquote data-quote="witzend" data-source="post: 596645" data-attributes="member: 99"><p>I think that you are doing the right thing by not picking him up. I think that what may be adding to both of your burdens is the inconsistency - which he is excellent at creating. Honestly, "one night" is <em>never</em> going to be just one night. It might be a night this week and four next week and two next month, but "one night" is not what you guys are doing.</p><p></p><p>Is it possible for you and your therapist to work on a list of things that you must have for <em>you</em> in order to be comfortable with inviting him into your home? I wouldn't start with a night at all, I'd start with a visit, and it doesn't sound as though you have any reason to visit with him. I wouldn't say any of this if you were feeling stronger, but you say you're struggling with your own issues. He's 24 years old. You've done your parenting and he is an adult and you are vulnerable. You need to get yourself well. Work with him on terms that keep you well.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="witzend, post: 596645, member: 99"] I think that you are doing the right thing by not picking him up. I think that what may be adding to both of your burdens is the inconsistency - which he is excellent at creating. Honestly, "one night" is [I]never[/I] going to be just one night. It might be a night this week and four next week and two next month, but "one night" is not what you guys are doing. Is it possible for you and your therapist to work on a list of things that you must have for [I]you[/I] in order to be comfortable with inviting him into your home? I wouldn't start with a night at all, I'd start with a visit, and it doesn't sound as though you have any reason to visit with him. I wouldn't say any of this if you were feeling stronger, but you say you're struggling with your own issues. He's 24 years old. You've done your parenting and he is an adult and you are vulnerable. You need to get yourself well. Work with him on terms that keep you well. [/QUOTE]
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Son called to be picked up from a dangerous situation-I refused. Sorry-VERY long!
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