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Substance Abuse
Son gets drunk makes scary threats
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 557646" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Hi Cher, welcome. I'm glad you found us. You're living in an environment many of us are all too familiar with. You might want to start your own thread, you've replied to an old thread and if you start your own, you will likely have more responses. You can either post here in substance abuse or in Parent Emeritus for older adult kids, or both. I encourage you to keep posting and when you can, put your info on the bottom of your post as you see on ours so we know more about you and can offer better assistance. </p><p></p><p>That combination of ADHD, Bi-polar, alcohol and drugs seems to be a common combination our kids choose, to their detriment and everyone's suffering. I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament, it's very difficult. You have a right to your life and to feeling safe in your own home. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do <em>and </em>you don't have to provide him a home if he doesn't abide by the rules and boundaries you set. </p><p></p><p>I was a little confused, is he in jail now? Will he be staying in jail without you bailing him out? It may be a good idea to remain true to your stance on not bailing him out, perhaps jail is where he needs to be now. When he is released, you may want to look into restraining orders for his violent behavior and how you can evict him in your state (sometimes it requires legal action, court involvement) sometimes it's simply a notice. You are entitled to live your own life without having to take care of him or put up with his behavior. It's difficult but necessary to learn how to detach from him. It helps to find support in groups, 12 step groups, therapy, counseling, books, whatever you can do to help yourself to come to grips with how to deal with your son and to realize you have no power to change him, he has to make those choices, he has to want to change.</p><p></p><p>For me, therapy worked and Codependents anonymous, for others it's al anon or other 12 step groups for families and/or drug abuse. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental illness) has lots of information and support groups for parents. Keep posting, it helps. I'm glad you found us...........(((HUGS)))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 557646, member: 13542"] Hi Cher, welcome. I'm glad you found us. You're living in an environment many of us are all too familiar with. You might want to start your own thread, you've replied to an old thread and if you start your own, you will likely have more responses. You can either post here in substance abuse or in Parent Emeritus for older adult kids, or both. I encourage you to keep posting and when you can, put your info on the bottom of your post as you see on ours so we know more about you and can offer better assistance. That combination of ADHD, Bi-polar, alcohol and drugs seems to be a common combination our kids choose, to their detriment and everyone's suffering. I'm sorry you find yourself in this predicament, it's very difficult. You have a right to your life and to feeling safe in your own home. You can't make him do anything he doesn't want to do [I]and [/I]you don't have to provide him a home if he doesn't abide by the rules and boundaries you set. I was a little confused, is he in jail now? Will he be staying in jail without you bailing him out? It may be a good idea to remain true to your stance on not bailing him out, perhaps jail is where he needs to be now. When he is released, you may want to look into restraining orders for his violent behavior and how you can evict him in your state (sometimes it requires legal action, court involvement) sometimes it's simply a notice. You are entitled to live your own life without having to take care of him or put up with his behavior. It's difficult but necessary to learn how to detach from him. It helps to find support in groups, 12 step groups, therapy, counseling, books, whatever you can do to help yourself to come to grips with how to deal with your son and to realize you have no power to change him, he has to make those choices, he has to want to change. For me, therapy worked and Codependents anonymous, for others it's al anon or other 12 step groups for families and/or drug abuse. NAMI (National Alliance on Mental illness) has lots of information and support groups for parents. Keep posting, it helps. I'm glad you found us...........(((HUGS))) [/QUOTE]
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