Rina, hang in there. Al-Anon can be a lifesaver. Keep going, no matter what. Even if you don't want to go right now, keep on going.
There were weeks when I went to a meeting every single day. It was the only sanity I could find for myself.
When I wasn't there, I was reading literature constantly.
We have to fill our minds and hearts with new thinking. And for a long time, the feelings don't change.
Even as your thinking changes, your feelings will still feel awful. That is where the Al-Anon saying: Feelings aren't Facts---comes in. It took me years to understand that saying, accept it, and practice new behaviors from it.
Feel your feelings...they are real and true. But don't act on them. That is what it means. Because your feelings of pain, sadness, deep grief, fear, anger, shame...do not equate to DOING SOMETHING to try to make your son stop using heroin or doing anything.
That is what it took me ages to learn. Ages.
We act out of our feelings because they hurt so much that we want to DO SOMETHING to make our own pain stop. But it doesn't work.
Work to separate what you feel....from what you do.
That is a huge step forward for you. Al-Anon will help tremendously with that, over time.
We are here for you. We understand. This is very, very hard stuff, Rina.
