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Parent Emeritus
son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 684235" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I think you set yourself up for this. I think you (and he) and your husband need to make some choices. If you are going to detach, that means that he gets to choose who his friends and contacts are, I think. But then, economic help needs to be re-thought, because if you are paying his way, I think you have some right to have conditions.</p><p></p><p>But then, look at it this way: He is an adult. Do you really have a right to dictate his friendships. A decision must be made I think, I clear one. Is he an adult or is he a child:</p><p></p><p>There are parents that support their adult children going to college. I do not know that those parents feel they can either influence or control the friends their children select.</p><p></p><p>The thing is: your son gets to determine the kind of life he wants, what he thinks of you, and to a point how he treats you. The only decision you have with respect to him that you control, I think, is how much you allow him in your life.</p><p></p><p>Even if you support him I do not think you have much control, unless he buys in. It does not sound like he is buying. I can understand why. He wants autonomy which is age-appropriate.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 684235, member: 18958"] I think you set yourself up for this. I think you (and he) and your husband need to make some choices. If you are going to detach, that means that he gets to choose who his friends and contacts are, I think. But then, economic help needs to be re-thought, because if you are paying his way, I think you have some right to have conditions. But then, look at it this way: He is an adult. Do you really have a right to dictate his friendships. A decision must be made I think, I clear one. Is he an adult or is he a child: There are parents that support their adult children going to college. I do not know that those parents feel they can either influence or control the friends their children select. The thing is: your son gets to determine the kind of life he wants, what he thinks of you, and to a point how he treats you. The only decision you have with respect to him that you control, I think, is how much you allow him in your life. Even if you support him I do not think you have much control, unless he buys in. It does not sound like he is buying. I can understand why. He wants autonomy which is age-appropriate. [/QUOTE]
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son is in partial hospitalization (PH)
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