Today is day 10. He entered on his OWN, first time ever voluntary. Typical stay in PH is 2wks but can be longer, before transferring to an affiliated sober house. He has called me 4 times, is allowed once/day phone privilege. He sounds great. Says he is feeling more clear everyday. Says he would like to stay in PH as long as possible as he is not ready for his 'phone, car, and being free' to walk out the door. Just got off the phone with him. I froze at the beginning of the convo when he asked me 'hey, do you think maybe, after 3 or 6 months of being sober, I could move up there with you guys (we are one state north)?' He mentioned that where he is, is so chaotic. He is right. South FL, where he is, IS chaotic, that's why we left FL. Also his friends are all there. He mentioned how where we live, 'it's more chill....out in the country but not far from a very large city'.... Ok. I am freaking OUT at the thought of this idea. Nor would my husband allow it. He has said in past that son would have to be sober for a good year and living/working successfully, if he ever were to come up here, stay with us for any amount of time. Son has said some VERY horrible things to us, about us....some very hurtful things. Has also threatened my husband, once he got in his face, tried to fight him. Though he was not sober when these things were said & done. Still. Where we live, is VERY different from where son is. I do NOT think son would be happy up here. And, there would inevitably be tension in the house even if he were sober. He has a very strong personality and is quite outspoken. Remember when I posted about how he rages at us when drunk on hard liquor? Scary to me. I got out of having to really give him an answer, thank goodness! I think someone said something to him right when he finished telling me the idea or something happened to get me off the hook. Basically, I do not think this would be able to happen, him coming here. And, I feel HORRIBLE for even saying this, as his mom. And, right now, I feel so proud of him for this decision he's made. Which is even moreso making me feel guilty for thinking/saying this- that he could not come here. My husband is sleeping, but I already know what his reaction would be...an emphatic and immediate NO. If he is to use his 4yr Florida Prepaid College plan that we bought him, he will have to stay in FL. Plus, his time to use it is running out. He has to use it within 10yrs of graduation, I think. But, what if he says he would forego college because he wants to come up here and/to stay sober? Friends, I need some words of wisdom. I have a knot in my stomach from not only his suggestion, but now from the way I'm already saying 'no' to the idea.....thank you.