It Could All Change In An Instant

[lovemysons]

Thank you for this hymn New Leaf. It reminds me of what my husband has said at times.
That when good things happen…this too shall pass. And when bad things happen…this too shall pass. So the question becomes how do we live knowing this.

I am doing my best to be a useful servant to God for my grandchildren. Who I am very sorry I was not as connected to until recently because of all my heart and soul was being poured into their dad, the drug addict, while he was still alive.

Part of me thinks now this at least in some way is an answer as to why God took him. Yes he had been given a million chances a million opportunities to make a new choice and stick with it…but now that he has passed from this life to the next I can shift my priorities to my grandchildren who are desperate at this point. The truth is…sad is it may sound…my son was in my way. His addiction was in my way. It was the only thing I could see.

I was not a useful servant for my drug addict son. I was spinning my wheels trying harder than he ever did for his sobriety. Sure I’m glad my son knew I loved him and he loved me. I’m glad we had a good relationship. But I do wish my head heart and time had been better spent on my grandchildren.

So who knows. Just thinking.
I’ll do what I can with the time that is left. Hopefully it will serve a better purpose.

LMS

 

[lovemysons]

Copa…
About essentially going to college with your son. I remember having these same thoughts about my son. How intrinsically tied my son’s success was to my own success as his mother.

Since my son was the middle child, I had read all of the statistics that were so grim as far as a middle child’s outcome. I wanted to make sure that none of the horrible things happened to him.

Sadly they all did.

I know you like me would have moved Heaven and earth for your son. Our strength wasn’t enough. This is a job for God in my opinion.

I hope you are doing better Copa.
Love
LMS

 

[ksm]

I was not a useful servant for my drug addict son. I was spinning my wheels trying harder than he ever did for his sobriety. Sure I’m glad my son knew I loved him and he loved me. I’m glad we had a good relationship. But I do wish my head heart and time had been better spent on my grandchildren.

So who knows. Just thinking.
I’ll do what I can with the time that is left. Hopefully it will serve a better purpose.

LMS, this really hit home with me. But the last couple of years I have been able to focus on our Great Grandson, because he lives with us. His mom might stop in a couple times a week. But shes not parenting... she did come home about 11pm last night. We don't allow her to have a key anymore as she was coming in and out of our home all hours of the night. So she has to call the house phone to be let in after we are asleep. And when she does spend the night, my husband gets up a couple times during the night and checks the doors to make sure they are still locked.

GGS had spent the weekend with his dad, but didn't feel good last night after we picked him up.(low grade fever) about 5:30am he I hear him yelling for me. He had left his room and was in bed with mom. But, he yells for Gigi. As soon as I touch his face I knew his temp was up. She barely wakes up while I give him Tylenol and a cold drink. I tried to get him to come downstairs with me. But he wants his mom.

It's heartbreaking. He's almost 4 now. I have been his real parent for more than half his life. He knows Gigi and Papa will take care of him, but he isn't giving up on mom. He still craves that connection. But I have given up wanting something my granddaughter, my adopted child, is unable to give me back.

Believe me...my GGS is a beautiful, intelligent, funny child. He would make any parent proud. And he is staying in bed with her just to be close to her...the person who should know he has a fever by looking at his face, but instead, urges him to be quiet and go back to sleep.

My heart hurts. KSM

 

[lovemysons]

I’m so sorry ksm. His situation is heartbreaking. He desperately wants his mom’s attention and affection…love and care. How sad. And sad too will come the day that he realizes his mother can’t or won’t be the parent he needs. This is where my oldest 2 grandchildren are now in their teen years.

I’m so glad your great grandson has you and PaPa. You are a godsend…a blessing.
That’s what I hope to be for my grandchildren too.

So sad that a desperate and deserving child is not enough to convince a drug addict parent that their drugs and alcohol are not as important as their child’s heart and mind.

It makes me angry now.
I had such misplaced attention spent on my drug addict son that my grandchildren were left to deal with consequences of their parents drug use alone for so many years.

2 nights ago I had a lengthy text talk with my granddaughter. Deceased son’s middle child. She is so special. Her soul is beautiful even after all she’s been through.
She wants us to sue mom for custody if CPS does nothing. And we will if we have to. This has gone on long enough for them. They need a life. They need a future. They need love.

Prayers,
LMS

 

[ksm]

I will be praying for your grands, too. I wish we had some legal custody..

This could all change. The parents don't even have a custody order...so we are stuck in the middle because either parent could take him and keep him from us. Or each other. His dad does not have a good track record, but seems to be more on track at the time than Alex's mom.

Ksm

 

[lovemysons]

Do you think you might be able to get free pro bono legal assistance to get real custody of your great grandson? This scares me for him that you have no rights.

LMS