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Substance Abuse
Son is out.
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<blockquote data-quote="Littleboylost" data-source="post: 716813" data-attributes="member: 21895"><p>Update</p><p>Son decided not to come home to pick up his belongings. Sent me a list of what he wanted. Clothes he wanted were in his dirty laundry, that he never took to the laundry room. My husband packed the items up and I drove them to him.</p><p></p><p>We live in a really nice town. There is probably one really really bad spot where all the drug busts occur ....and guess where he is staying! Surprised no disappointed yes.</p><p></p><p>I did leave the letter in his bag. It is just a reflection of how I feel. I know it's engaging but I could not help myself.</p><p></p><p>He didn't look at me hardly spoke to me grabbed his stuff and went back in to the unit he came out of.</p><p></p><p>Perhaps I know why he was begging to come home.</p><p></p><p>He raged at me today frequently in texts. Angry angry angry. Still thinks he calls the shots. He is not ready to face his demons. Not by a long shot. I am sitting in my car numb I can't even move to go in the house.</p><p></p><p>How he wants to choose this life is so beyond me. It breaks me in two.</p><p>My brain is like a ping pong ball....did I make him loose his job, will he be ok, how will he get to court, will he get to his bail meetings, have I fed him to the wolves.....maybe I am a bad mother....was he really that bad....he is so young.....Ugh....I need to make it stop! </p><p></p><p>I remind myself that he stole my pain medication from me after I had surgery not giving a crap that he left me with nothing for my pain, that I have woke to him in my bedroom with his hands in my purse only to lie about what he was doing, how he told me I should have aborted him because I was such a F----up as a mother, how he man handled me and barricaded me in his bedroom....refused to help do almost anything to contribute to the household.....and ODd by accident the day after my mother died, how he was feeling too low to go to family couseling that he promised to start attending again but partied all night bringing my car back wreaking of pot and bringing pot into my home ...again, bringing drug dealers to my house! Still the pit of my stomach is at the back of my teeth.</p><p></p><p>Earlier we asked him what he would like to do for a family vacation this summer, as we decided we needed to bond and heal as a family. He has refused family vacation since he was 15 refusing to go anywhere with us. He chose a cottage. We were all supposed to be leaving on Saturday. Husband and I are going. We offered for son to still join us (truth be told we knew he would say no). We will recharge our batteries in peace and quiet. We have a friend looking in on our home while we are away. I don't put it past him to try and break in.</p><p></p><p>Numb but not so comfortably.....numb. This will be another sleepless night.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Littleboylost, post: 716813, member: 21895"] Update Son decided not to come home to pick up his belongings. Sent me a list of what he wanted. Clothes he wanted were in his dirty laundry, that he never took to the laundry room. My husband packed the items up and I drove them to him. We live in a really nice town. There is probably one really really bad spot where all the drug busts occur ....and guess where he is staying! Surprised no disappointed yes. I did leave the letter in his bag. It is just a reflection of how I feel. I know it's engaging but I could not help myself. He didn't look at me hardly spoke to me grabbed his stuff and went back in to the unit he came out of. Perhaps I know why he was begging to come home. He raged at me today frequently in texts. Angry angry angry. Still thinks he calls the shots. He is not ready to face his demons. Not by a long shot. I am sitting in my car numb I can't even move to go in the house. How he wants to choose this life is so beyond me. It breaks me in two. My brain is like a ping pong ball....did I make him loose his job, will he be ok, how will he get to court, will he get to his bail meetings, have I fed him to the wolves.....maybe I am a bad mother....was he really that bad....he is so young.....Ugh....I need to make it stop! I remind myself that he stole my pain medication from me after I had surgery not giving a crap that he left me with nothing for my pain, that I have woke to him in my bedroom with his hands in my purse only to lie about what he was doing, how he told me I should have aborted him because I was such a F----up as a mother, how he man handled me and barricaded me in his bedroom....refused to help do almost anything to contribute to the household.....and ODd by accident the day after my mother died, how he was feeling too low to go to family couseling that he promised to start attending again but partied all night bringing my car back wreaking of pot and bringing pot into my home ...again, bringing drug dealers to my house! Still the pit of my stomach is at the back of my teeth. Earlier we asked him what he would like to do for a family vacation this summer, as we decided we needed to bond and heal as a family. He has refused family vacation since he was 15 refusing to go anywhere with us. He chose a cottage. We were all supposed to be leaving on Saturday. Husband and I are going. We offered for son to still join us (truth be told we knew he would say no). We will recharge our batteries in peace and quiet. We have a friend looking in on our home while we are away. I don't put it past him to try and break in. Numb but not so comfortably.....numb. This will be another sleepless night. [/QUOTE]
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