Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Son left sober living....
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Kathy813" data-source="post: 716214" data-attributes="member: 1967"><p>RN, first of all. I am so sorry that you are going through this again. The bottom line is that your son doesn't want to be sober. So far, all of his stays in treatment and sober living has been because you thought it was the best thing for him (which it probably was). However, until he decides that he wants to live a sober life it isn't going to happen. The fact that the first thing he did after leaving sober living was to look for weed is very telling.</p><p></p><p>The other posters are right. It is time to step back and let him fall. He needs to learn that you cannot use drugs and function as an adult. He will lose his job and probably end up in legal trouble. Al-Anon teaches that we need to let the alcoholic/addict suffer the consequences of their substance use. I think that is the single most difficult thing for a parent to do but our loved ones will never stop using until their addiction becomes harder than sobriety.</p><p></p><p>If you need to take a break, do it. If your husband can keep in casual contact like mine could, do that. My husband was much better at being able to talk to our daughter while maintaining a loving detachment than I could.</p><p></p><p>I don't think I would even do the Facetime goodbye. I just see it as drama filled and accomplishing nothing. Personally, I would just send a text wishing him luck with his new living situation and tell him you need some space and will touch base in a week or two. After that, just keep it light and casual as long as he isn't asking for your help or emotionally abusing you.</p><p></p><p>I am glad that you are seeing your therapist tonight.</p><p></p><p>{{{Hugs}}}</p><p></p><p>~Kathy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Kathy813, post: 716214, member: 1967"] RN, first of all. I am so sorry that you are going through this again. The bottom line is that your son doesn't want to be sober. So far, all of his stays in treatment and sober living has been because you thought it was the best thing for him (which it probably was). However, until he decides that he wants to live a sober life it isn't going to happen. The fact that the first thing he did after leaving sober living was to look for weed is very telling. The other posters are right. It is time to step back and let him fall. He needs to learn that you cannot use drugs and function as an adult. He will lose his job and probably end up in legal trouble. Al-Anon teaches that we need to let the alcoholic/addict suffer the consequences of their substance use. I think that is the single most difficult thing for a parent to do but our loved ones will never stop using until their addiction becomes harder than sobriety. If you need to take a break, do it. If your husband can keep in casual contact like mine could, do that. My husband was much better at being able to talk to our daughter while maintaining a loving detachment than I could. I don't think I would even do the Facetime goodbye. I just see it as drama filled and accomplishing nothing. Personally, I would just send a text wishing him luck with his new living situation and tell him you need some space and will touch base in a week or two. After that, just keep it light and casual as long as he isn't asking for your help or emotionally abusing you. I am glad that you are seeing your therapist tonight. {{{Hugs}}} ~Kathy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Son left sober living....
Top