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Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
Son left sober living....
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<blockquote data-quote="Snow White" data-source="post: 716221" data-attributes="member: 355"><p>RN, I just saw this post and am so sorry to hear what has happened.</p><p></p><p>I think you and I have had the same past couple of days! Drama starts, we go into FOG-mode, we come to this forum, get valuable feedback WE need and then re-focus.</p><p></p><p>It is interesting how differently 2 parents of the same child respond to the Difficult Child's drama/issue. We are often at different place/time in our detachment journey and everyone handles things in their own way. Just as you are trying to accept that your son doesn't want to stop using drugs, I am trying to accept that my daughter doesn't want to stop her borderline and addictive ways. Your husband is dealing with this in his own way. I hope that you can find something happy to do together this weekend.</p><p></p><p>Subconsciously, I think I have programmed myself to believe that, "If I believe it enough and do all the work to get daughter to a better place, she'll buy into it and change her ways." When I think of all the thousands (and I mean thousands) of hours and $$$$ I have invested in trying to get resources in place, trying to stay a step ahead of her, being her bank/travel agent/problem solver, making excuses, liaison for emergency services, etc., I almost get sick over how much useless heartache, time and effort I put in with zero in return. This is time and effort I should have been putting into the rest of my family - who wants, needs and appreciates it.</p><p></p><p>RN, your comments yesterday really helped me to see that. I hope that our responses to you will help you in the same way! No kicks necessary! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>{hugs}</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Snow White, post: 716221, member: 355"] RN, I just saw this post and am so sorry to hear what has happened. I think you and I have had the same past couple of days! Drama starts, we go into FOG-mode, we come to this forum, get valuable feedback WE need and then re-focus. It is interesting how differently 2 parents of the same child respond to the Difficult Child's drama/issue. We are often at different place/time in our detachment journey and everyone handles things in their own way. Just as you are trying to accept that your son doesn't want to stop using drugs, I am trying to accept that my daughter doesn't want to stop her borderline and addictive ways. Your husband is dealing with this in his own way. I hope that you can find something happy to do together this weekend. Subconsciously, I think I have programmed myself to believe that, "If I believe it enough and do all the work to get daughter to a better place, she'll buy into it and change her ways." When I think of all the thousands (and I mean thousands) of hours and $$$$ I have invested in trying to get resources in place, trying to stay a step ahead of her, being her bank/travel agent/problem solver, making excuses, liaison for emergency services, etc., I almost get sick over how much useless heartache, time and effort I put in with zero in return. This is time and effort I should have been putting into the rest of my family - who wants, needs and appreciates it. RN, your comments yesterday really helped me to see that. I hope that our responses to you will help you in the same way! No kicks necessary! :) {hugs} [/QUOTE]
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Son left sober living....
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