Two days before my husband and I left for our March break vacation, oldest son lands on our doorstep with two cats.... they belonged to his ex roommates ex girlfriend and were ditched along with paying rent ..... so son moved into our home... again. It's been rough. He is very depressed and doesn't seem to be awake much in the day.... he goes out at night, which in my gut tells me he is doing drugs again. I have avoided posting because I didn't want to face it.... He isn't angry like he was last time, more sad and shameful. He often tells me he feels terrible about what has happened. I snooped down stairs and have found some really weird writings... he does poetry but this stuff has alien references in it, and he has mentioned that before. I'm starting to worry about schitzophrenia ... or some kind of psychosis....he says how much he regrets hurting his family but also talks about black outs and aliens in his writings.... it's so weird . I'm getting down again, and not sure how I am going to keep this up. He did say he would call local counselling agency. They haven't called back, which makes me wonder.... Now we are fighting more, withdrawing more...just sad overall. We are supposed to go away this weekend to escape it all for a few days and all we are doing is arguing tonight. The smell of weed and kitty litter is making me crazy. I'm feeling like I need to escape my own home. I already know what you all will say.... your home, tell him to leave, etc..... However, having watched our friends go through their sons suicide, I don't think I can do that. And now I am worrying about a serious mental illness. Not sure what I want from these boards... other than to feel not so alone.