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Son seems lost in this world
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<blockquote data-quote="DazedandConfused" data-source="post: 715926" data-attributes="member: 831"><p>Hi Stephany,</p><p></p><p>How is he paying for his weed? If you're "stuck" paying his bills, why isn't the weed money going for that? My 21 year-old son is a pothead. I hate it. However, since my state has legalized it and he has a medical card, my argument against (other than the stench) is rather weak. I do not allow him to smoke it on my property. Son has terrible anxiety and I have noticed it does mellow him out and calm him down. Still, he's not under a doctor's care...etc. However, he has a good job and pays for himself. In my house, my kids either had a job or were looking for a job if they wanted money. Period. It took son a long time to get a decent job, but I insisted he keep looking and he did. He also rides the bus because I won't buy him a car or co-sign for one. It makes his commute to work a long one. If he wants a car, he can take the steps to make it happen. Sorry your son lost his job. So, get thee out looking for a new one! </p><p></p><p>How can you direct him to a happier healthier future? Bottom line you can't. That is a concept that can be hard for us Moms to wrap our heads around. That being said, letting him sponge off family only makes it less likely he'll ever find that happy future.I had an uncle that my grandmother enabled and supported to his grave (Died literally face down in the gutter from alcoholism). She enabled my Dad too, but not to the extent of my "poor uncle" who she considered delicate and weak. So, I would get my name off that car ASAP and stop paying the insurance. You might want to have a sit down with him. Going with the flow and getting high isn't going to cut it. You can give him a deadline. Be prepared to hold your line if he doesn't get his act together. Don't fall for any sob story either.</p><p></p><p>Best wishes!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DazedandConfused, post: 715926, member: 831"] Hi Stephany, How is he paying for his weed? If you're "stuck" paying his bills, why isn't the weed money going for that? My 21 year-old son is a pothead. I hate it. However, since my state has legalized it and he has a medical card, my argument against (other than the stench) is rather weak. I do not allow him to smoke it on my property. Son has terrible anxiety and I have noticed it does mellow him out and calm him down. Still, he's not under a doctor's care...etc. However, he has a good job and pays for himself. In my house, my kids either had a job or were looking for a job if they wanted money. Period. It took son a long time to get a decent job, but I insisted he keep looking and he did. He also rides the bus because I won't buy him a car or co-sign for one. It makes his commute to work a long one. If he wants a car, he can take the steps to make it happen. Sorry your son lost his job. So, get thee out looking for a new one! How can you direct him to a happier healthier future? Bottom line you can't. That is a concept that can be hard for us Moms to wrap our heads around. That being said, letting him sponge off family only makes it less likely he'll ever find that happy future.I had an uncle that my grandmother enabled and supported to his grave (Died literally face down in the gutter from alcoholism). She enabled my Dad too, but not to the extent of my "poor uncle" who she considered delicate and weak. So, I would get my name off that car ASAP and stop paying the insurance. You might want to have a sit down with him. Going with the flow and getting high isn't going to cut it. You can give him a deadline. Be prepared to hold your line if he doesn't get his act together. Don't fall for any sob story either. Best wishes! [/QUOTE]
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