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Son went to jail yesterday
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 635152" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Origami, glad to get an update from you. I'm glad things have been more pleasant around your house---that is good for you.</p><p></p><p>We don't post bond on my son anymore, so he just stays in jail and then gets a public defender appointed for him. Not sure why the judge didn't do that earlier in your case. If he hasn't been arraigned they will have to do that within a certain number of days, very few usually, so that should happen soon. Then it might be another month or so before his court date comes up.</p><p></p><p>Yes, he has made this bed, and he will have to walk through the next weeks until the case is decided. Then, he will have to deal with the outcome. The good thing about this is that he is having to face the consequences of his own actions. That is key for all of us in becoming adults. People intervening and saving us is never good. Never. </p><p></p><p>I understand daughter in law's dilemma. Now she's stuck with all of it. Maybe---and I really hope this---if you can stay on your side of the street, and focus on your own life, they will move out. She will go elsewhere to get the help she needs, until that stops.</p><p></p><p>People make their own choices in life, and then, it's up to them to live with those choices and all they bring with them. </p><p></p><p>It is sad and it's so hard for us, who love them, and their kids (I can imagine that layer of pain having grandkids in all of this mess puts on you). </p><p></p><p>But if we step in, we delay the inevitable, which is them facing themselves. We all have to face ourselves in order to grow.</p><p></p><p>Warm hugs for you. Please keep us posted. I am glad your son is safe somewhere, and away from pot and alcohol. That can be a very good thing and a comfort.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 635152, member: 17542"] Origami, glad to get an update from you. I'm glad things have been more pleasant around your house---that is good for you. We don't post bond on my son anymore, so he just stays in jail and then gets a public defender appointed for him. Not sure why the judge didn't do that earlier in your case. If he hasn't been arraigned they will have to do that within a certain number of days, very few usually, so that should happen soon. Then it might be another month or so before his court date comes up. Yes, he has made this bed, and he will have to walk through the next weeks until the case is decided. Then, he will have to deal with the outcome. The good thing about this is that he is having to face the consequences of his own actions. That is key for all of us in becoming adults. People intervening and saving us is never good. Never. I understand daughter in law's dilemma. Now she's stuck with all of it. Maybe---and I really hope this---if you can stay on your side of the street, and focus on your own life, they will move out. She will go elsewhere to get the help she needs, until that stops. People make their own choices in life, and then, it's up to them to live with those choices and all they bring with them. It is sad and it's so hard for us, who love them, and their kids (I can imagine that layer of pain having grandkids in all of this mess puts on you). But if we step in, we delay the inevitable, which is them facing themselves. We all have to face ourselves in order to grow. Warm hugs for you. Please keep us posted. I am glad your son is safe somewhere, and away from pot and alcohol. That can be a very good thing and a comfort. [/QUOTE]
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