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Soon to be ex is such a .........
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 104354" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p>He's definitely a toad.</p><p></p><p>I think I would help easy child learn how to turn the tables around in this scenario. Instead of constantly pleading and expecting him to step up to the plate and be there for her, she should instead ask a trusted friend to look at the car with her. Perhaps you and a close friend with a little knowledge about cars would be better. And once the decision is made, without dad's input, she should either sell the old car or use it for a trade in. Totally sidewipe old dad and when he asks her what happened to the car? Why didn't he go with her?, she can just say, "Oh, you sounded too busy so I took care of it myself." </p><p></p><p>Part of your easy child growing from these awful experiences with her father is to accept him for the way he is right now. She needs to learn not to allow him to turn her into a shriveling mess of tears every time he lets her down. It took a while for my easy child to the point where she accepts the limitations on her relationship with her dad, but she did finally when she was about 14/15. We had to do some role playing along the way to help her process certain disappointing situations and deal with her feelings about him. She and her dad are closer now because she "showed" him that she is strong and can survive without him and in turn it made him step up to the plate for fear of being forgotten altogether. For my difficult child it's taken a bit longer, but she's almost there I believe.</p><p></p><p>Hugs to easy child - I hope she can weather this without too much damage being done.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 104354, member: 2211"] He's definitely a toad. I think I would help easy child learn how to turn the tables around in this scenario. Instead of constantly pleading and expecting him to step up to the plate and be there for her, she should instead ask a trusted friend to look at the car with her. Perhaps you and a close friend with a little knowledge about cars would be better. And once the decision is made, without dad's input, she should either sell the old car or use it for a trade in. Totally sidewipe old dad and when he asks her what happened to the car? Why didn't he go with her?, she can just say, "Oh, you sounded too busy so I took care of it myself." Part of your easy child growing from these awful experiences with her father is to accept him for the way he is right now. She needs to learn not to allow him to turn her into a shriveling mess of tears every time he lets her down. It took a while for my easy child to the point where she accepts the limitations on her relationship with her dad, but she did finally when she was about 14/15. We had to do some role playing along the way to help her process certain disappointing situations and deal with her feelings about him. She and her dad are closer now because she "showed" him that she is strong and can survive without him and in turn it made him step up to the plate for fear of being forgotten altogether. For my difficult child it's taken a bit longer, but she's almost there I believe. Hugs to easy child - I hope she can weather this without too much damage being done. [/QUOTE]
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