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Substance Abuse
Soon to embark on the merry-go-round
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<blockquote data-quote="toughlovin" data-source="post: 629568" data-attributes="member: 15801"><p>Hi Worriedmom,</p><p></p><p>I would be surprised if they put your son in jail.... at this age I think most courts try to help them before incarcerating them and although the charges feel bad to you I think as far as the court goes they are still pretty minimal. A DUI is not good but if it is his first one I doubt it would mean jail time. My son ended up in jail because he kept doing stupid petty things, would get caught, go to court be told if he did anything else he could go to jail. They didnt actually put him in jail until his 5th offense. I mean the kid did not get scared from all those trips to court and I think stopped believing they would do anything. To be honest when they finally put him in jail my reaction was it is about time!!!</p><p></p><p>That was a few years ago and at that point we got him into rehab and so they released him to go to rehab on probation.</p><p></p><p>So jails may differ from state to state but what most of them have is a canteen system. You can put money on their canteen account and anything they get they buy from canteen. So in my sons case I cant send him anything except a letter. I cant even send him stamps! The only way you can send them books or magazines is through the publisher. So no you cant send them clothes or food or anything. They are given those prison jump suits to wear, so that is what they wear.... I think they can dress in clothes for court.</p><p></p><p>Drug court is a program through the courts where you basically answer to the court on a regular basis (often weekly) and go to groups for substance use or in some cases, like my sons are put into a residential program. It is the courts way of dealing with people whose crimes are related to their drug use. So far my experience has been positive and I am thankful that drug court is involved. A lot of people in drug court live in the community and attend their groups etc. The thing is drug court does have the judicial system behind them, so if you relapse they can detain you in jail (which is what happened recently to my son). I dont know if drug court is an option for your son but it might be a good option really to get him on track. It takes the onus off you and puts it on the court... he has to answer to the court and if he doesnt get his act together they give him consequences.</p><p></p><p>I hope you and your husband can get help. He does sound very controlling which would worry me. However I can understand why he would not love your son given that he came into his life after he was a teenager (is that correct I know you said you got married when your son was 17), and he sees what your son puts you through. I know my friends who dont have kids do not really understand why I am still involved, still let all of this get to me. I think they think I should just walk away but I can't. </p><p></p><p>TL</p><p></p><p></p><p>Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="toughlovin, post: 629568, member: 15801"] Hi Worriedmom, I would be surprised if they put your son in jail.... at this age I think most courts try to help them before incarcerating them and although the charges feel bad to you I think as far as the court goes they are still pretty minimal. A DUI is not good but if it is his first one I doubt it would mean jail time. My son ended up in jail because he kept doing stupid petty things, would get caught, go to court be told if he did anything else he could go to jail. They didnt actually put him in jail until his 5th offense. I mean the kid did not get scared from all those trips to court and I think stopped believing they would do anything. To be honest when they finally put him in jail my reaction was it is about time!!! That was a few years ago and at that point we got him into rehab and so they released him to go to rehab on probation. So jails may differ from state to state but what most of them have is a canteen system. You can put money on their canteen account and anything they get they buy from canteen. So in my sons case I cant send him anything except a letter. I cant even send him stamps! The only way you can send them books or magazines is through the publisher. So no you cant send them clothes or food or anything. They are given those prison jump suits to wear, so that is what they wear.... I think they can dress in clothes for court. Drug court is a program through the courts where you basically answer to the court on a regular basis (often weekly) and go to groups for substance use or in some cases, like my sons are put into a residential program. It is the courts way of dealing with people whose crimes are related to their drug use. So far my experience has been positive and I am thankful that drug court is involved. A lot of people in drug court live in the community and attend their groups etc. The thing is drug court does have the judicial system behind them, so if you relapse they can detain you in jail (which is what happened recently to my son). I dont know if drug court is an option for your son but it might be a good option really to get him on track. It takes the onus off you and puts it on the court... he has to answer to the court and if he doesnt get his act together they give him consequences. I hope you and your husband can get help. He does sound very controlling which would worry me. However I can understand why he would not love your son given that he came into his life after he was a teenager (is that correct I know you said you got married when your son was 17), and he sees what your son puts you through. I know my friends who dont have kids do not really understand why I am still involved, still let all of this get to me. I think they think I should just walk away but I can't. TL Sent using ConductDisorders mobile app [/QUOTE]
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