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<blockquote data-quote="hopeandjoy66" data-source="post: 632404" data-attributes="member: 18181"><p>Thanks to you both for your understanding. I have passed this article onto my husband a few weeks ago and he really does get it. He then emailed it to his ex. She gives no responses to anything she doesn't like to hear. husband doesn't like to ask her about it as he is afraid it opens up an ugly can of worms.</p><p></p><p>I have talked about marital counseling with my husband in the past and he was definitely open to this idea. It is so easy to put things off when your not sitting in the pit of crisis. Instead, you kind of just relish the calm when it is there and put off what you should do, but you kind of know going to get counseling will be reliving these crisis situations and disturbing the calm.</p><p></p><p>husband realizes that this causes all of us anxiety. When I have told him this s_ _ _ causes me a lot of anxiety he then proceeds to tell me nothing of what is going on. I am pretty sure I don't like this either. How do I support him if I don';t know what is going on? Another reason I am not okay with knowing nothing is this causes me anxiety as well. I like to mentally prepare if the big poop is going to hit the fan. It is a kind of self preservation technique. I haven't told husband to what extent this has started to impact me as I don't want him to have another reason to fret. I can definitely see where counseling would benefit. However, I feel I am the one with the problem, I am the one not coping well . So now the problem goes from being about difficult child to all about me. Me this Me that. I feel very uncomfortable with that thought.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hopeandjoy66, post: 632404, member: 18181"] Thanks to you both for your understanding. I have passed this article onto my husband a few weeks ago and he really does get it. He then emailed it to his ex. She gives no responses to anything she doesn't like to hear. husband doesn't like to ask her about it as he is afraid it opens up an ugly can of worms. I have talked about marital counseling with my husband in the past and he was definitely open to this idea. It is so easy to put things off when your not sitting in the pit of crisis. Instead, you kind of just relish the calm when it is there and put off what you should do, but you kind of know going to get counseling will be reliving these crisis situations and disturbing the calm. husband realizes that this causes all of us anxiety. When I have told him this s_ _ _ causes me a lot of anxiety he then proceeds to tell me nothing of what is going on. I am pretty sure I don't like this either. How do I support him if I don';t know what is going on? Another reason I am not okay with knowing nothing is this causes me anxiety as well. I like to mentally prepare if the big poop is going to hit the fan. It is a kind of self preservation technique. I haven't told husband to what extent this has started to impact me as I don't want him to have another reason to fret. I can definitely see where counseling would benefit. However, I feel I am the one with the problem, I am the one not coping well . So now the problem goes from being about difficult child to all about me. Me this Me that. I feel very uncomfortable with that thought. [/QUOTE]
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