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The Watercooler
Sorry I haven't been around much, I had a rough couple of weeks
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<blockquote data-quote="Hound dog" data-source="post: 464231" data-attributes="member: 84"><p>(((hugs)))</p><p></p><p>I agree wholeheartedly with DDD. </p><p></p><p>I realize what he told you the reasons are that he didn't come to you, and at the time they probably were the reasons. But being a easy child, he probably would have done the same thing even if you hadn't had a full plate at the time. Why? Because he wouldn't want to put that sort of problem, <strong>his</strong> problem, onto you. </p><p></p><p>I can say that both as a mom of a very capable easy child, and as someone who over a lifetime has done similar. My poor mom wants to "fix" and to "help" the situation I'm in right now almost to the point of desperation. Not knowing what else to do, she wants to give me money and is frustrated I won't discuss finances with her. It's not that I don't appreciate her or even know that she's trying to do what she feels she can to help. It's that money, even though my financial situation isn't great to say the least, isn't going to help or fix anything. Not unless she won the lottery and neglected to tell anyone. So to tell her my finances would only cause her more worry. Which is why I'm evading her. Because I am a easy child these days, I'm working it out for myself, like an an independent adult does. Know what I mean?? easy child is helping me because she's close enough to actually do that, mom is two states away and isn't able to do that sort of thing or I'd let her help me with that if it would make her feel better.</p><p></p><p>Your son recognized his problem, did what needed to be done, and then told you about it so that you couldn't be blind sided with it later under different circumstances. You have much to be proud of in him. That confidence and capability was taught to him by you. So you've no reason to feel guilty or that you failed him. He learned from you well enough to stand on his own and solve a serious problem, one that in all honesty, could be done no other way. And he felt so comfortable with you to tell you about it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Hound dog, post: 464231, member: 84"] (((hugs))) I agree wholeheartedly with DDD. I realize what he told you the reasons are that he didn't come to you, and at the time they probably were the reasons. But being a easy child, he probably would have done the same thing even if you hadn't had a full plate at the time. Why? Because he wouldn't want to put that sort of problem, [B]his[/B] problem, onto you. I can say that both as a mom of a very capable easy child, and as someone who over a lifetime has done similar. My poor mom wants to "fix" and to "help" the situation I'm in right now almost to the point of desperation. Not knowing what else to do, she wants to give me money and is frustrated I won't discuss finances with her. It's not that I don't appreciate her or even know that she's trying to do what she feels she can to help. It's that money, even though my financial situation isn't great to say the least, isn't going to help or fix anything. Not unless she won the lottery and neglected to tell anyone. So to tell her my finances would only cause her more worry. Which is why I'm evading her. Because I am a easy child these days, I'm working it out for myself, like an an independent adult does. Know what I mean?? easy child is helping me because she's close enough to actually do that, mom is two states away and isn't able to do that sort of thing or I'd let her help me with that if it would make her feel better. Your son recognized his problem, did what needed to be done, and then told you about it so that you couldn't be blind sided with it later under different circumstances. You have much to be proud of in him. That confidence and capability was taught to him by you. So you've no reason to feel guilty or that you failed him. He learned from you well enough to stand on his own and solve a serious problem, one that in all honesty, could be done no other way. And he felt so comfortable with you to tell you about it. [/QUOTE]
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Sorry I haven't been around much, I had a rough couple of weeks
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