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Sorry, Me Again - Advice on This Please?
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<blockquote data-quote="Methuselah" data-source="post: 513002" data-attributes="member: 12725"><p>Daisy, your daughter seems to be a very gifted musician, who is able to play many instruments, including you. :-/ </p><p></p><p>I've been reading your posts with interest, because your daughter is sort of similar to mine. Your daughter lies and blames you to get away with her dirt. She broke a rule. Period. The consequence is she has to buy back her instruments. The instruments are important to her, so you used them in the lesson you are trying to teach her. Obeying rules, living a truthful life, not manipulating to get your way are lessons she should have mastered YEARS ago, but she has chosen not, too. She knows EXACTLY what is expected of her; she just doesn't want to comply. To make sure the consequences are of the lowest impact, she will try to guilt you, shame you, manipulate your words, threaten suicide, and my favorite, not eat. And you fall for it all the time. I completely understand, by the way, why you fall for it. I do it, too. All the time! You want to believe they aren't who they are or that they are finally changing. Believe me, I totally understand. (About the not eating: You're worried and fretting about her not eating. So what if she doesn't eat? She is a physically healthy SIXTEEN year old. If she wants to starve herself until she passes out because she is mad, let her. It is like tantruming toddlers who hold their breath until they pass out. When she is hungry, she'll eat, you just probably won't see it.)</p><p></p><p>You did the smart and right thing with the instruments. She didn't and doesn't want to do the smart and right thing. Sadly, she may never, as that's the path of personality disordered people. </p><p></p><p>I'm sorry if this is harsh, especially from someone who doesn't post often; it is not intended to be. I think your reactions to your daughter's antics have been like looking into a window of my own. I think if I could shake sense into myself, I would. Hard. :-(</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Methuselah, post: 513002, member: 12725"] Daisy, your daughter seems to be a very gifted musician, who is able to play many instruments, including you. :-/ I've been reading your posts with interest, because your daughter is sort of similar to mine. Your daughter lies and blames you to get away with her dirt. She broke a rule. Period. The consequence is she has to buy back her instruments. The instruments are important to her, so you used them in the lesson you are trying to teach her. Obeying rules, living a truthful life, not manipulating to get your way are lessons she should have mastered YEARS ago, but she has chosen not, too. She knows EXACTLY what is expected of her; she just doesn't want to comply. To make sure the consequences are of the lowest impact, she will try to guilt you, shame you, manipulate your words, threaten suicide, and my favorite, not eat. And you fall for it all the time. I completely understand, by the way, why you fall for it. I do it, too. All the time! You want to believe they aren't who they are or that they are finally changing. Believe me, I totally understand. (About the not eating: You're worried and fretting about her not eating. So what if she doesn't eat? She is a physically healthy SIXTEEN year old. If she wants to starve herself until she passes out because she is mad, let her. It is like tantruming toddlers who hold their breath until they pass out. When she is hungry, she'll eat, you just probably won't see it.) You did the smart and right thing with the instruments. She didn't and doesn't want to do the smart and right thing. Sadly, she may never, as that's the path of personality disordered people. I'm sorry if this is harsh, especially from someone who doesn't post often; it is not intended to be. I think your reactions to your daughter's antics have been like looking into a window of my own. I think if I could shake sense into myself, I would. Hard. :-( [/QUOTE]
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Sorry, Me Again - Advice on This Please?
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