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Speaking of Jumper...I don't know what to do about this
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 602484" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>ALL of your children are rich beyond measure. They have an incredibly mom who truly 'gets' their struggles and challenges and supports them every way she can, including helping their dad have a better understanding of them. They have parents who would give their right arm or an organ to them without even thinking about the consequences to themselves if it would help their kid or kids. They are being taught values, are allowed to learn from their mistakes, and they are truly, deeply, madly LOVED. Those things are worth a million times what Ward and June are giving their kids. Literally a million times more. </p><p></p><p>Jumper's reaction to being told she has to contribute to the house and that she has to do more if she wants this vacation (which is ridiculously expensive beyond all reason, by the way) is solely due to her parents' lessons to this point. She reacted that way because you have taught her that if she is willing to do the hard work then she can have and/or be whatever she wants, that there are zero limits on her potential as long as she is determined enough and willing to work her behind off to get it. </p><p></p><p>That is a truly special and wonderful gift you have given to her. Worth a million vacations and all the material goods in the world. I bet Ward and June's kids don't have a clue what it means to work for something they want. I saw dozens of kids like this when I went away to school. Not a single one of them knew how to cope with ANYTHING and many of them dropped out of college or turned to drugs because ti was 'too hard, too much work' and they were sure that mommy and daddy would provide for them so they didn't need to work. Sadly for them, most of their parents DID meet their kids' expectations and the kids grew up to be crippled adults who could not survive in the world with-o their parents. Those of us who were taught to work? We made lives and families for ourselves and we know we at least worked to try to reach our dreams. </p><p></p><p>I do think you need to insist that Jumper either contribute as expected or she cannot use the car and cannot do the fun things that she enjoys. If she won't put forth the money, she cannot use the car and that includes paying her share of the insurance,, meaning the amt the insurance went up when she got her license. Period. No money no drivee, as my gma used to tell my aunt (I was in elem school when she was in high school). If she won't contribute to other expenses, she misses out on opportunities. </p><p></p><p>This isn't being mean. It is preparing her for the world, where no one will pay for her to do something with-o expecting her to do something in return. She needs to learn to look gift horses in the mouth because that is where the bite comes from. I don't think Ward and June are inviting her out of the kindness of their hearts. they know she cannot afford this trip, and they want help with something or they would not invite her. Many of the wealth people got that way by not paying for things they wanted, but by manipulating people to do things for them for free. I have seen this situation many times in friends who got suckered into going on trips, paying their own way, and then finding out they were supposed to babysit, or do errands, or handle some type of work that the family didn't want to do. Many of them did not have the strength of purpose to say that they paid their own way and didn't need to work for free to repay the family for the cost of going on vacation ith the family. some of those who fell into this trap learned later that the actual cost was vastly less than they paid, and that they actually paid for the family to do quite a bit on the trip - things that they were not invited to participate in because the family wanted them to babysit. </p><p></p><p>I don't know if Ward and June have this in mind, but it would NOT surprise me. I also would be very leary of letting my child leave the country with someone who is not a relative. Resorts attract creeps and sex offenders like you would NOT believe, and in many countries the burden of proof is extremely high to prove an assault has occurred, and the police may expect bribes, etc... just to do their jobs. So a trip outside the US needs to be VERY carefully researched right down to running a background check on every person going with your child regardless of what you think you know about them. This means Ward and June and their family because you don't really know if they have a criminal record or not. Predators are so successful because they look like ordinary people. </p><p></p><p>Jumper is a great young woman and paying her bills is an important lesson for her to learn.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 602484, member: 1233"] ALL of your children are rich beyond measure. They have an incredibly mom who truly 'gets' their struggles and challenges and supports them every way she can, including helping their dad have a better understanding of them. They have parents who would give their right arm or an organ to them without even thinking about the consequences to themselves if it would help their kid or kids. They are being taught values, are allowed to learn from their mistakes, and they are truly, deeply, madly LOVED. Those things are worth a million times what Ward and June are giving their kids. Literally a million times more. Jumper's reaction to being told she has to contribute to the house and that she has to do more if she wants this vacation (which is ridiculously expensive beyond all reason, by the way) is solely due to her parents' lessons to this point. She reacted that way because you have taught her that if she is willing to do the hard work then she can have and/or be whatever she wants, that there are zero limits on her potential as long as she is determined enough and willing to work her behind off to get it. That is a truly special and wonderful gift you have given to her. Worth a million vacations and all the material goods in the world. I bet Ward and June's kids don't have a clue what it means to work for something they want. I saw dozens of kids like this when I went away to school. Not a single one of them knew how to cope with ANYTHING and many of them dropped out of college or turned to drugs because ti was 'too hard, too much work' and they were sure that mommy and daddy would provide for them so they didn't need to work. Sadly for them, most of their parents DID meet their kids' expectations and the kids grew up to be crippled adults who could not survive in the world with-o their parents. Those of us who were taught to work? We made lives and families for ourselves and we know we at least worked to try to reach our dreams. I do think you need to insist that Jumper either contribute as expected or she cannot use the car and cannot do the fun things that she enjoys. If she won't put forth the money, she cannot use the car and that includes paying her share of the insurance,, meaning the amt the insurance went up when she got her license. Period. No money no drivee, as my gma used to tell my aunt (I was in elem school when she was in high school). If she won't contribute to other expenses, she misses out on opportunities. This isn't being mean. It is preparing her for the world, where no one will pay for her to do something with-o expecting her to do something in return. She needs to learn to look gift horses in the mouth because that is where the bite comes from. I don't think Ward and June are inviting her out of the kindness of their hearts. they know she cannot afford this trip, and they want help with something or they would not invite her. Many of the wealth people got that way by not paying for things they wanted, but by manipulating people to do things for them for free. I have seen this situation many times in friends who got suckered into going on trips, paying their own way, and then finding out they were supposed to babysit, or do errands, or handle some type of work that the family didn't want to do. Many of them did not have the strength of purpose to say that they paid their own way and didn't need to work for free to repay the family for the cost of going on vacation ith the family. some of those who fell into this trap learned later that the actual cost was vastly less than they paid, and that they actually paid for the family to do quite a bit on the trip - things that they were not invited to participate in because the family wanted them to babysit. I don't know if Ward and June have this in mind, but it would NOT surprise me. I also would be very leary of letting my child leave the country with someone who is not a relative. Resorts attract creeps and sex offenders like you would NOT believe, and in many countries the burden of proof is extremely high to prove an assault has occurred, and the police may expect bribes, etc... just to do their jobs. So a trip outside the US needs to be VERY carefully researched right down to running a background check on every person going with your child regardless of what you think you know about them. This means Ward and June and their family because you don't really know if they have a criminal record or not. Predators are so successful because they look like ordinary people. Jumper is a great young woman and paying her bills is an important lesson for her to learn. [/QUOTE]
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