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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 356300" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I always thought he was. Of course there will be times when you feel betrayed and let down - it can be something so simple as him being unavailable for a while, or him being distracted at the time you call and him seeming to not care. But it has sounded to me in your previous posts, that you have felt things were finally beginning to fall into place properly.</p><p></p><p>I did suggest writing things down - it would also help you to be able to keep your calls as brief and to the point as possible. I have been an activist and have friends who try the same things but they make the mistake of needing to talk for far too long, and so the people they try to talk to will keep ducking out of answering or returning their calls.</p><p></p><p>Yes, it's a complicated case. But you need to be able to express the bare bones of it very simply.</p><p></p><p>I've mentioned here that I am a writer. One of the best bits of advice I was given about writing effectively, was to look back over what I've written and then summarise it into once sentence. Then go back over my work and delete anything that doesn't need to be there.</p><p></p><p>It can be done. And for you, the most important thing is to get your concerns HEARD and heard ACCURATELY. Otherwise you could talk to them for half an hour and they'll have zoned out after the first five minutes and you get totally ignored or misunderstood. Your energies wasted (because it Is exhausting for you) and everybody's time, and difficult children' freedom, also gone.</p><p></p><p>So write it down. There mere act of writing it down locks it firmly into your mind in a more ordered sequence. This helps you get your point across in five minutes.</p><p></p><p>And finally - whenever an official, ANY official says to you, "I havne't got time to talk to you right now," then you have two options. Do both.</p><p></p><p>1) Reply with, "When Do you have time?" and make a time to call back. AND</p><p></p><p>2) Put it in a letter (try to keep to one page - these people don't have time to turn the paper over) and send it off. Email is good. If you want to annoy someone and they're not in a position to do you harm, send a ten page fax. It clogs their system and uses their paper.</p><p></p><p>You've been badly burned in the past, and tis goes back way before these problems with your son. So it's understandable that you will at times feel vulnerable and not heard. Learn from this. Whenever you feel like this again, Dig deep into your own psyche and try to identify why. Then act in that knowledge.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 356300, member: 1991"] I always thought he was. Of course there will be times when you feel betrayed and let down - it can be something so simple as him being unavailable for a while, or him being distracted at the time you call and him seeming to not care. But it has sounded to me in your previous posts, that you have felt things were finally beginning to fall into place properly. I did suggest writing things down - it would also help you to be able to keep your calls as brief and to the point as possible. I have been an activist and have friends who try the same things but they make the mistake of needing to talk for far too long, and so the people they try to talk to will keep ducking out of answering or returning their calls. Yes, it's a complicated case. But you need to be able to express the bare bones of it very simply. I've mentioned here that I am a writer. One of the best bits of advice I was given about writing effectively, was to look back over what I've written and then summarise it into once sentence. Then go back over my work and delete anything that doesn't need to be there. It can be done. And for you, the most important thing is to get your concerns HEARD and heard ACCURATELY. Otherwise you could talk to them for half an hour and they'll have zoned out after the first five minutes and you get totally ignored or misunderstood. Your energies wasted (because it Is exhausting for you) and everybody's time, and difficult children' freedom, also gone. So write it down. There mere act of writing it down locks it firmly into your mind in a more ordered sequence. This helps you get your point across in five minutes. And finally - whenever an official, ANY official says to you, "I havne't got time to talk to you right now," then you have two options. Do both. 1) Reply with, "When Do you have time?" and make a time to call back. AND 2) Put it in a letter (try to keep to one page - these people don't have time to turn the paper over) and send it off. Email is good. If you want to annoy someone and they're not in a position to do you harm, send a ten page fax. It clogs their system and uses their paper. You've been badly burned in the past, and tis goes back way before these problems with your son. So it's understandable that you will at times feel vulnerable and not heard. Learn from this. Whenever you feel like this again, Dig deep into your own psyche and try to identify why. Then act in that knowledge. Marg [/QUOTE]
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