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Spoke with defense attny
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<blockquote data-quote="klmno" data-source="post: 356307" data-attributes="member: 3699"><p>Thanks, Marg! Yes- I need to work on those areas and have been working on it, but still haven't perfected it. It has been a useful process though- between the stuff the GAL stirred up indirectly and the stuff difficult child did, I have no doubt a large part of MY personal problems the past year or so have been fighting the return of PTSD residue. I have been trying to stop and go thru healthy articles and so forth to get my head reeled back in to being rational and more objective and trusting again, like I had been. Sometimes I post about stuff I rund across and even though in this situation, I didn't need to use all the tactics I was considering because PO and I were able to work something out, it was still good for me to review the tactics and reminders. I feel like I'm getting my head back on track and it is helping a lot to have a PO who sseems to get it instead of one who doesn't believe anything I say or believe in mental health treatment, is overly ...well.....it seems we have a much better team in place now so I can handle things a little better and am trying to learn to trust again.</p><p></p><p>I understand what you're saying about the def attny and phone calls- I think this will; be ok though. He said he had another court case in 15 mins and that's why he couldn't get into too much right then and told me to call him next week. I'll just leave a message for him Mon. telling him that PO and I talked and we're on the same page, so no need to call me back unless he has something else he needs to discuss or the plan changes. </p><p></p><p>The thing about the anxiety though- I don't think people over there understood before why I seemed to woried and nervous about certain things- the previous PO assumed I was hiding something and was just incompetent. The GAL thought I was just a nut, apparently. I think it was important to let them know that it was this kind of stuff contributing to it- but not because I am refusing or paranoid, but because this is what contributes to difficult child's problems, our problems at home, and ultimately crisis to the point of him needing incarceration or a psychiatric hospital so that is why every time we start being ordered to go down that road, I become more anxiety-ridden. Yes, I know that means I still have some issues- but neither difficult child's or mine can get solved until/unless some of these people realize how they are contributing instead of helping. Of course, some people care more about helping than others. I am so thankful that this PO does seem to have a reasonable level of concern and makes appropriate effort to help.</p><p></p><p>For instance, one of my issues about the mental health dept was the quack that saaw difficult child there a few years ago- who difficult child hated- and the guy was a complete waste and misled us both. Then, the mental health dept had told me over a year later that if difficult child ever came back there for therapy, he had to see that same therapist. PO is going to talk to a different therapist over there and asked them to make sure difficult child is allowed to see someone different. If difficult child starts cutting agin or if I call PO and say it's getting to emotional in therapy and write now difficult child has testing at school and I have a deadline at work or whatever, he's fine with us backing off or taking a break for a while. TG! The probation officer would have said "I don't care, that's your problem, I ordered you to do this and if you don't do it you and difficult child both will be taken to court".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="klmno, post: 356307, member: 3699"] Thanks, Marg! Yes- I need to work on those areas and have been working on it, but still haven't perfected it. It has been a useful process though- between the stuff the GAL stirred up indirectly and the stuff difficult child did, I have no doubt a large part of MY personal problems the past year or so have been fighting the return of PTSD residue. I have been trying to stop and go thru healthy articles and so forth to get my head reeled back in to being rational and more objective and trusting again, like I had been. Sometimes I post about stuff I rund across and even though in this situation, I didn't need to use all the tactics I was considering because PO and I were able to work something out, it was still good for me to review the tactics and reminders. I feel like I'm getting my head back on track and it is helping a lot to have a PO who sseems to get it instead of one who doesn't believe anything I say or believe in mental health treatment, is overly ...well.....it seems we have a much better team in place now so I can handle things a little better and am trying to learn to trust again. I understand what you're saying about the def attny and phone calls- I think this will; be ok though. He said he had another court case in 15 mins and that's why he couldn't get into too much right then and told me to call him next week. I'll just leave a message for him Mon. telling him that PO and I talked and we're on the same page, so no need to call me back unless he has something else he needs to discuss or the plan changes. The thing about the anxiety though- I don't think people over there understood before why I seemed to woried and nervous about certain things- the previous PO assumed I was hiding something and was just incompetent. The GAL thought I was just a nut, apparently. I think it was important to let them know that it was this kind of stuff contributing to it- but not because I am refusing or paranoid, but because this is what contributes to difficult child's problems, our problems at home, and ultimately crisis to the point of him needing incarceration or a psychiatric hospital so that is why every time we start being ordered to go down that road, I become more anxiety-ridden. Yes, I know that means I still have some issues- but neither difficult child's or mine can get solved until/unless some of these people realize how they are contributing instead of helping. Of course, some people care more about helping than others. I am so thankful that this PO does seem to have a reasonable level of concern and makes appropriate effort to help. For instance, one of my issues about the mental health dept was the quack that saaw difficult child there a few years ago- who difficult child hated- and the guy was a complete waste and misled us both. Then, the mental health dept had told me over a year later that if difficult child ever came back there for therapy, he had to see that same therapist. PO is going to talk to a different therapist over there and asked them to make sure difficult child is allowed to see someone different. If difficult child starts cutting agin or if I call PO and say it's getting to emotional in therapy and write now difficult child has testing at school and I have a deadline at work or whatever, he's fine with us backing off or taking a break for a while. TG! The probation officer would have said "I don't care, that's your problem, I ordered you to do this and if you don't do it you and difficult child both will be taken to court". [/QUOTE]
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