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Starting to stress out
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 566568" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>I'm sorry you're feeling stressed about difficult child's upcoming court appearance. It's difficult to not worry about them, especially since your son is young. You did find a shelter that will take him, so you could allow yourself to be satisfied with that. There is a mom here who always says we <em>need to stop working harder then they are.</em> The likelihood is that your son has given this no thought at all and when/if he does get out on Friday, it's likely he will be impulsive and make whatever (bad) choices he makes at that point. And, your worrying will have been for naught. I am not judging you at all, I've done that more years then your son has been alive! But, this voice of experience is telling you that all that worry will do no good whatsoever, and certainly not for you. You have today and 2 more days until Friday, you've already found him a place to stay should he be released. Other then that, <em>there is nothing else you can do</em>.............and rather then spend the 3 days ruminating about something you have no control over anyway, you might make a conscious decision to enjoy your husband, your younger son, your life and YOU. I know how hard that is, believe me, however, after awhile with these kids, it's the only choice left! Tell yourself you've done all you can and let it go for now. As far as Christmas is concerned, yeah, that is too bad that he can't join you guys, but it's because of his own behavior, not anything you did.............the whole thing sucks, it really does,.......we parents have to make these hard choices due to the reality of who our kids are..........and it's not easy by any means. But, you have a life too. So does your husband and your other son. Try to enjoy the holidays with them. I hope you found a counselor to help you through this, it really does make a difference. I look forward to my Wed. therapy group, I gain strength and realize I'm not alone and get support to stay the course. You really are doing a good job, we just can't measure it by how great we feel, most of the time this stuff doesn't feel that good doing it, but each step takes us closer to a life worth living for US, one which has some peace and joy and a whole lot less worrying. (((HUGS))))</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 566568, member: 13542"] I'm sorry you're feeling stressed about difficult child's upcoming court appearance. It's difficult to not worry about them, especially since your son is young. You did find a shelter that will take him, so you could allow yourself to be satisfied with that. There is a mom here who always says we [I]need to stop working harder then they are.[/I] The likelihood is that your son has given this no thought at all and when/if he does get out on Friday, it's likely he will be impulsive and make whatever (bad) choices he makes at that point. And, your worrying will have been for naught. I am not judging you at all, I've done that more years then your son has been alive! But, this voice of experience is telling you that all that worry will do no good whatsoever, and certainly not for you. You have today and 2 more days until Friday, you've already found him a place to stay should he be released. Other then that, [I]there is nothing else you can do[/I].............and rather then spend the 3 days ruminating about something you have no control over anyway, you might make a conscious decision to enjoy your husband, your younger son, your life and YOU. I know how hard that is, believe me, however, after awhile with these kids, it's the only choice left! Tell yourself you've done all you can and let it go for now. As far as Christmas is concerned, yeah, that is too bad that he can't join you guys, but it's because of his own behavior, not anything you did.............the whole thing sucks, it really does,.......we parents have to make these hard choices due to the reality of who our kids are..........and it's not easy by any means. But, you have a life too. So does your husband and your other son. Try to enjoy the holidays with them. I hope you found a counselor to help you through this, it really does make a difference. I look forward to my Wed. therapy group, I gain strength and realize I'm not alone and get support to stay the course. You really are doing a good job, we just can't measure it by how great we feel, most of the time this stuff doesn't feel that good doing it, but each step takes us closer to a life worth living for US, one which has some peace and joy and a whole lot less worrying. (((HUGS)))) [/QUOTE]
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