Status Quo

[DDD]

No reason for a big update. Bottom line is that we are exactly
where we were before. easy child/difficult child is a disaster waiting to happen
BUT he really is not capable of more steps forward yet. We just
"float". It's driving me up the wall and then...I try to remember that I need to be thankful that he is alive and getting
more normal each month.

Meanwhile it is like waiting for a train wreck. His addictions
will lead to another crisis in due time. Disconcerting is the
best description. Selfishly, I really would love some peace. DDD

 

[everywoman]

"Meanwhile it is like waiting for a train wreck. His addictions
will lead to another crisis in due time."

I know exactly what you mean 3D---I live just waiting for the next call, the next hospital visit, the next arrest---It's inevitable when they are sbusing drugs and/or alcohol. It's hard to imagine a life without a gnawing in the pit of my stomach---and it's oh so very sad to know there is nothing I can do to stop him from destroying himself. I know you feel the same. These beautiful, talented young men who had so much to offer the world can do nothing but take and take...

 

[SunnyFlorida]

I too hate waiting. I hate waiting for addiction to suck up every inch of lifeblood that is a difficult child.

Sending lots of cyber hugs

 

[Loris]

It's not selfish to want peace. It's normal as well as understandable. I'm glad you see more normal each month. I hope you get your calm and peace soon. They do make things hard, I know.

 

[KFld]

Sorry to hear things haven't really changed. It seems you have pretty much done all you can for him, now you have no choice but to sit and wait and see what happens next. I don't envy you that feeling.

 

[CAmom]

I'm so sorry--talk about living on the edge of your seat...

 

[DDD]

At least here I am not alone. Selfish?? Probably, but it is a
comfort to know that my boat may be a tad different but others
are in similar helpless situations. DDD

 

[Ephchap]

I feel for you, DDD. It's hard to know what part is the addiction and gfgness and what part is from the injury. I'm sure it's frustrating.

I'm thrilled beyond words that I'm not going through this with my difficult child, but if it's company you want, I'm still going through it with my difficult child brother, so am paddling along with you.

Sending hugs, my friend. Hang in there.
Deb

 

[Mikey]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: DDD</div><div class="ubbcode-body">...easy child/difficult child is a disaster waiting to happen
BUT he really is not capable of more steps forward yet. We just
"float". It's driving me up the wall and then...I try to remember that I need to be thankful that he is alive and getting more normal each month...</div></div>

I feel for you, DDD. Like others here, I think we're all in the same boat. Like you, I'm thankful that difficult child is alive. "Normal" is a relative word, but he seems to be "improving" in some areas each month. Not so much in others, but at least he's not sliding backwards any more.

My brother was a cop, and told me a long time ago that true criminals don't change until they hit "criminal menopause", i.e. they finally tell themselves "I'm tired of this *!++!@, and I'm not doing it any more." Some never get there, but most do - sooner or later.

I don't think it's any different with difficult child's. We are thankful for and supportive of the positive changes they make, continue to love them through the times when they make poor decisions, and hope/pray/whatever that they get to a point where they decide that it's time to change.

That's the only reason I haven't given up yet. While my difficult child may not be the kid I want him to be (or think he's capable of being), he is making some improvements. Forward progress, or even treading water, is better than going backwards. Even something as small as that is something I'm thankful for.

So, you are not alone. Not here. We all understand, been there done that, and are sending you lots of prayers and support.

Grace, peace, and hope for you and yours.

Mike

 

[DDD]

Frankly the best thing about our CD family is that we do understand each other. I "think" if we did not have the Brain
Injury issue on top of the others...I "think"...I would slap his
blankin' head off his neck!

Then, lol, before the cops took me away I'd run to the computer
and tell you all that I finally couldn't take it anymore! DDD

 

[KFld]

You are too funny!! Don't ever lose your sense of humor, then we'd really have to worry about you.

 

[SunnyFlorida]

I think it's time for some Cutty :smile: