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Steam is coming out of my ears!
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 358798" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>You know I understand why you feel the way you do. I do have to point out one thing.</p><p></p><p>In THIS country the judges orders are law. </p><p></p><p>You say you do not and would not tell difficult child to break a law or support him breaking a law.</p><p></p><p>You are refusing to follow a court order, so you are effectively breaking the law. You are also showing difficult child that you have contempt for the court. If YOU will not follow law/court orders, why would you think difficult child would follow them? </p><p></p><p>I KNOW you have reasons and rationalizations and fears. They are valid and largely understandable. </p><p></p><p>The facts are still the facts.</p><p></p><p>The court orders are the law. They are NOT optional. </p><p></p><p>Is there ANY way you can step back and change your viewpoint? To look at this as a game? If you do not play by the rules you have no chance to win the game. No chance that the court will EVER put any responsibility for what difficult child does on his shoulders. By refusing to follow the rules you are making the court unable to focus on you. Courts are NOT smart. They cannot move on until this is done. You want them to do what you want. Until you do what THEY want it simply will NOT happen.</p><p></p><p>You have been fighting this the same way for a long time now. Several years. You have gotten the same results. Courts that do not look at difficult child for responsibility. A difficult child who takes no responsibility because he has no real consequences. </p><p></p><p>The ONLY way to get anything else is to change how you are acting. Period.</p><p></p><p>It isn't right.</p><p></p><p>It isn't fair.</p><p></p><p>It is scary.</p><p></p><p>It is maddening, wrong, upsetting, pisses you off, and so on and so on and so on. </p><p></p><p>It also is what it is.</p><p></p><p>If you still refuse you must at least pony up the funds and get an attorney to help you get out of it. That will NOT get them to give difficult child consequences but it MIGHT preserve your freedom. Maybe.</p><p></p><p>You ARE telling difficult child you hold the court system in contempt and you won't follow their rulings.</p><p></p><p>He is your son. Why would he NOT do the same thing?? In his mind if it is okay for you to do it then it is okay for him to do it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 358798, member: 1233"] You know I understand why you feel the way you do. I do have to point out one thing. In THIS country the judges orders are law. You say you do not and would not tell difficult child to break a law or support him breaking a law. You are refusing to follow a court order, so you are effectively breaking the law. You are also showing difficult child that you have contempt for the court. If YOU will not follow law/court orders, why would you think difficult child would follow them? I KNOW you have reasons and rationalizations and fears. They are valid and largely understandable. The facts are still the facts. The court orders are the law. They are NOT optional. Is there ANY way you can step back and change your viewpoint? To look at this as a game? If you do not play by the rules you have no chance to win the game. No chance that the court will EVER put any responsibility for what difficult child does on his shoulders. By refusing to follow the rules you are making the court unable to focus on you. Courts are NOT smart. They cannot move on until this is done. You want them to do what you want. Until you do what THEY want it simply will NOT happen. You have been fighting this the same way for a long time now. Several years. You have gotten the same results. Courts that do not look at difficult child for responsibility. A difficult child who takes no responsibility because he has no real consequences. The ONLY way to get anything else is to change how you are acting. Period. It isn't right. It isn't fair. It is scary. It is maddening, wrong, upsetting, pisses you off, and so on and so on and so on. It also is what it is. If you still refuse you must at least pony up the funds and get an attorney to help you get out of it. That will NOT get them to give difficult child consequences but it MIGHT preserve your freedom. Maybe. You ARE telling difficult child you hold the court system in contempt and you won't follow their rulings. He is your son. Why would he NOT do the same thing?? In his mind if it is okay for you to do it then it is okay for him to do it. [/QUOTE]
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