Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Step dad at my wits end.
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 387535" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Well, as somebody who went through a divorce and picked a new husband, I can tell you that I'm sure she is angry at you and your wife and that you probably should back off in telling her what to do because you're NOT her father. My hub had to back off the discipline and he got along much better with the kids once he stopped trying to be an authority figure. Me and ex worked on behaviors together. We didn't particularly like one another, but we did it for the kids. And my hub was great...he didn't particularly like watching, what he considered bad behavior without saying anything, but he did it and in the end he now has a great relationship with all of my kids and they respect him a lot. But no child likes to see Mom or Dad with a new honey and they often do act out their resentment. Her daughter didn't pick you. She did. I had to remind myself of this and it took us a long time to work it out right</p><p></p><p>Continue with family counseling. in my opinion you need to understand daughter's point of view. She has a father that she adores, even if your wife thinks he's a creep (even if he IS a creep) and you are never going to measure up to him in her eyes. But if you try to work with him, all of you may get some good results from stepdaughter and peace in the house. If not, well, welcome to Evil Stepfahter/Stepmother <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> My hub knows that role well. And he's a great guy, but my kids (and I had THREE of them) didn't want to see him as anything other than the man who didn't belong. How many times did he hear "You're not my father?" You ever have to hear that one?</p><p></p><p>And don't discount how jealous and resentful stepdaughter is of the new baby.</p><p></p><p>Anyhow, you joined a great board with a lot of folks here...some stepparents. I'm speaking from the kid's perspective because my kids are now grown and have spoken to me in detail about how/why they treated my hub so badly for several years. Welcome to the board and good luck, whatever you decide to try.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 387535, member: 1550"] Well, as somebody who went through a divorce and picked a new husband, I can tell you that I'm sure she is angry at you and your wife and that you probably should back off in telling her what to do because you're NOT her father. My hub had to back off the discipline and he got along much better with the kids once he stopped trying to be an authority figure. Me and ex worked on behaviors together. We didn't particularly like one another, but we did it for the kids. And my hub was great...he didn't particularly like watching, what he considered bad behavior without saying anything, but he did it and in the end he now has a great relationship with all of my kids and they respect him a lot. But no child likes to see Mom or Dad with a new honey and they often do act out their resentment. Her daughter didn't pick you. She did. I had to remind myself of this and it took us a long time to work it out right Continue with family counseling. in my opinion you need to understand daughter's point of view. She has a father that she adores, even if your wife thinks he's a creep (even if he IS a creep) and you are never going to measure up to him in her eyes. But if you try to work with him, all of you may get some good results from stepdaughter and peace in the house. If not, well, welcome to Evil Stepfahter/Stepmother :) My hub knows that role well. And he's a great guy, but my kids (and I had THREE of them) didn't want to see him as anything other than the man who didn't belong. How many times did he hear "You're not my father?" You ever have to hear that one? And don't discount how jealous and resentful stepdaughter is of the new baby. Anyhow, you joined a great board with a lot of folks here...some stepparents. I'm speaking from the kid's perspective because my kids are now grown and have spoken to me in detail about how/why they treated my hub so badly for several years. Welcome to the board and good luck, whatever you decide to try. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Step dad at my wits end.
Top