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Substance Abuse
Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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<blockquote data-quote="keista" data-source="post: 451591" data-attributes="member: 11965"><p>Welcome to the board. </p><p></p><p>The sad reality is that if you keep up this double standard, you might end up "loosing" your daughter too. J is already filling her head with negative kid stuff - you don't have to listen, you don't have to do chores, you don't have to be respectful. Hey, Emm, If you don't believe me, just watch what I do! and she follows suit. You accept this behavior from him, so why not her? This can push her to become even MORE rebellious, because she's thinking you favor him and that's why he gets to 'get away with' stuff.</p><p></p><p>J is about to become an adult. You have inadvertently set a very bad precedent for him. Once he's legally an adult he's going to think he can do ANYTHING he wants in your home, because, hey, he's an "adult" </p><p></p><p>I would do an immediate 180 on any future visits in your home, he MUST respect YOUR (you and husband's) rules. PERIOD. You say you're afraid of 'loosing' him, but right now, what are you loosing? A disrespectful kid. And by giving him that 'double standard' all you are doing is fostering a disrespectful kid. HOPEFULLY he really is clean, but what if he's not? He's bragged about cheating the tests. (which I find odd in and of itself. Most kids don't tell their parents this kind of stuff) If he keeps using, you'll be loosing him to drugs anyway.</p><p></p><p>If you do not EXPECT proper behavior from him, you won't get it. Just like above I said your daughter might think you prefer him, he's thinking you prefer her because you EXPECT good things from her but not from him.</p><p></p><p><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/consoling.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":consoling:" title="consoling :consoling:" data-shortname=":consoling:" /><img src="/community/styles/default/xenforo/smilies/emoticons/notalone.gif" class="smilie" loading="lazy" alt=":notalone:" title="notalone :notalone:" data-shortname=":notalone:" /></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="keista, post: 451591, member: 11965"] Welcome to the board. The sad reality is that if you keep up this double standard, you might end up "loosing" your daughter too. J is already filling her head with negative kid stuff - you don't have to listen, you don't have to do chores, you don't have to be respectful. Hey, Emm, If you don't believe me, just watch what I do! and she follows suit. You accept this behavior from him, so why not her? This can push her to become even MORE rebellious, because she's thinking you favor him and that's why he gets to 'get away with' stuff. J is about to become an adult. You have inadvertently set a very bad precedent for him. Once he's legally an adult he's going to think he can do ANYTHING he wants in your home, because, hey, he's an "adult" I would do an immediate 180 on any future visits in your home, he MUST respect YOUR (you and husband's) rules. PERIOD. You say you're afraid of 'loosing' him, but right now, what are you loosing? A disrespectful kid. And by giving him that 'double standard' all you are doing is fostering a disrespectful kid. HOPEFULLY he really is clean, but what if he's not? He's bragged about cheating the tests. (which I find odd in and of itself. Most kids don't tell their parents this kind of stuff) If he keeps using, you'll be loosing him to drugs anyway. If you do not EXPECT proper behavior from him, you won't get it. Just like above I said your daughter might think you prefer him, he's thinking you prefer her because you EXPECT good things from her but not from him. :consoling::notalone: [/QUOTE]
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Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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