Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice

Discussion in 'Substance Abuse' started by secondhandrose, Aug 7, 2011.

  1. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    So I was just browsing the internet trying to get some practical advice and found this forum. I have read some of these threads and found encouragement. Thank you all:) I am literally losing sleep and my health is failing because of my anxiety over our current situation. I will try to give a brief history about our family, but I think it will be a bit long, because it is so hard to sum it all up. So God bless you if you read the whole thing! I really need your help.

    I met my husband 5 years ago and at the time his son( I will call him Jerrod) was 12 years old and living two states away. His vistation was only twice a year for approximately one week at a time.Needles to say the relationship between the two of them was one that needed to be cultivated and I knew that my husband was at a point in his life where he knew this as well. I should add that he had his son at the very young age of 15, so he really wasn't too sure how to be a Dad through High School and then while away at college. I wanted to help this boy be closer to his Dad. I was a single Mom of a 7 year old girl(I'll call her Emm) when we came in to thier lives and saw that his son needed to feel more at home with his Dad when he came for visits. There was a period of time when my husband did not get to see his son for approx 3 years because his mother had moved away and refused contact. This was from the time that Jerrod was about 3 until he was about 7 years old. When we moved in together I tried to make his son feel at home, safe and loved when he came for visits. I wanted him to know that he was just as important and loved as my daughter who was with us full time, and I knew that there may be some underlying jealousy there with good reason on Jarrod's part.

    My husband and I were married 3 years ago and have since moved to a place with enough rooms for Jarrod to have his own room. I painted it his favorite color and tried to make it feel like his own. I really pushed for him to stay with us for longer periods of time and he was happy to come for the last two Summers for just over a month each time and then for Christmas break. We even got to fly him out for Easter weekend too. He was very happy about spending more and more time with us and even considered moving here. I have invested a lot of time in him when he is here. He has opened up to me and vented his frustrations about his childhood, and situation at home, which according to him has not been easy. His Mother has been through one divorce and going through her second. He claims that there is a history of drug use in the home as well. He has been very open and receptive to me. I don't know how much of everything he says is true,(his Dad thinks some of his stories are just for attention or to test my love for him) but I have always listened to him with compassion and an openess to his feelings and never said that I don't believe him. He feels more comforatable talking to me about emotional things probably because he was raised by his Mom. I've cried for him many times just wishing I could have been there for him sooner. His Dad and him are much closer now, and he is also very close with my daughter as well.

    Last Summer he sat me down and told me that he has been using drugs and in trouble. He did not want me to tell his Dad until after he went back home. I tried to assure him that there was NOTHING that either of our kids could ever do to make us love them any less. He told me he had been using a lot of Pot and also any pills he could get his hands on. He says he has used a lot of mushrooms and has done every drug except Meth. He was caught for selling, stealing and using and has been on probation since last summer. After Jarrod went home that trip, his Dad wrote him a very long letter letting him know that he was going to be here to help him in anyway he could and did not condemn him, he just tried to encourage Jarrod to do the right thing and keep fighting to over come it all. It was a beautiful letter full of so much love for his son. Jerrod was off probation for very small period of time but got caught again. He spent a night in Juvy and has been in a rehabilitation program and is 9 months sober (from drugs) he still brags about his drinking. If you read on you will see that his drug sobriety time line does not quite add up according to his story. He claims that he knows how to beat the system by taking large quantities of Niacin before UA's and says he has passed a few tests because of it. I told him that Niacin is dangerous in large quantities. In the same token he claims he has in fact been sober for 9 months. I don't know what to believe, but I hope he is clean. He will be 18 in January and will be looking at a longer sentance in jail if he gets caught again before the end of his probation at 18 and a half. Jarrod also had a girlfriend last Summer who came for a visit with him and she stole various items from us while she was here. She is a very troubled girl and also a substance/alcohol abuser. They have since broken up and he has been on a continual emotional roller coaster with her for over a year. She has been very destructive to him emotionally and he had at one point turned back to drugs and was in a deep depression and had to go on prescription drugs for insomnia/depression. He is very defensive of her (they are still friends and he thinks she is "the one" and thinks he will eventually marry her)and it has been the source of great turmoil with his Mother at home, because obviously she doesn't approve of their realtionship.

    When he came for his visit this year he was trying to seek validation from us to get back together with this girl and he did not get it from us. This caused him to try to pick fights with me continually. Which I did not take the bait for. I had a gentle answer avoided arguing but he was very mean towards me and only when his Dad was not around to hear it. His last visit here I might add, Jarrod was telling me that he was so glad his Dad married me and though he was still resenting his Dad a bit he was happy to be establishing a good relationship with him. We have had a good relationship until now. This visit he was telling my daughter that we (my husband and I) treat her badly, are unfair, and I am a horrible nag to his Dad. He bragged continually about his defiancy back home with his Mom, teachers, and law enforcement right in front of Emm. He also told both me and Emm that kids should not have to help around the house and do chores because it is not thier responsibility. They are only kids once and should just have fun. Emm thought this was great she's 12 now and really trying to come in to her own. She looks up to Jarrod a lot and considers him a great big brother. We had a long discussion with them both and tried to set them straight on teaching responsibility, but Emm has now been very defiant towards us and we have had to try to get her back on track since Jarrod went back home. Jarrod also took me aside one day to tell me that someday Emm will use drugs, because he can tell she has it in her personality. He is also mean to our cats when we are not around. Emm has wittnessed him smacking them. I have tried not to take too much personally but it is so hard to only have a small amount of time with him and have the house be full of tension during our visits. I feel heart sick over this, and am having trouble sleeping. I have had continual serious health problems for most of my life and it has been a balancing act to be a Momma, wife and take care of myself. Jarrod has told Emm that I pretend to be sick for attention. I have not tried to overstep any boundries with him and would not ever try to make him think that I am trying to take the place of his Mother, I have not tried to be his best friend, I have simply tried my hardest to fight for his rightful place in this family and to be a listening ear. He left very resentful of me even though we did not ever even have a confrontation. We strongly suspect that he is angry that I told him his ex girlfriend can't come here. His Mom warned us that he would get VERY angry if we said anything negative about this girl. His first night back home he was pulled over and cuffed for wreckless driving. The cop let him go with a ticket.

    I am new to this Step Mom thing. 5 years is not really five years because I only get him for small amounts of time. I am new to having a defiant step son who all of the sudden resents me, when we have had a great realtionship untill last month. I am not knowing how to handle his next trip out. We expect respect from my daughter. She is strong willed and we do allow her to speak her mind and try to be fair with her. But we do not allow her to yell and be disrespectful about it without consequence. Now she sees that her step brother was allowed to make passive aggressive remarks to me and say awful things about me with out consequence. And this is because with the fragility of the relationship with him we are afraid to be too tough on him because if he gets mad enough we may never see him again. I need to really convey that Jarrod's behavior was always gentle and sweet, caring and compassionate up untill this last visit. Could it be the sleeping pills? He didn't need them when he was here. Was he having withdrawls? Could there be a possibility that he prehaps has not been clean and was having bouts of withdrawls from other drugs too? He was having regular testing done back home and passed though. I realize that he has a lot of misguided anger. He is mad at his decisions and knows that his parents are right, but resents us for it. He is probably scared too, of life in general. I understand some of it, but what do I do? How do I teach him to repsect his family without him defiying us by never coming back? We have a double standard as far as dicsipline goes with Emm and Jarrod because we are scared to lose him. This is not fair to her and very confusing. And so incredibly not the way I thought I'd ever parent. *Sigh* Once again, if you read all of this, Lord bless ya! and please any advice would help! Most of you on here have your children full time, have had to endure so much more than me, and know so much more than me, so please, please do share
  2. runawaybunny

    runawaybunny Guest

    Welcome to our community secondhandrose.

    I can only imagine that being a step parent would make parenting a defiant child even more difficult. I don't have any experience or wisdom to share about step parenting, but I know that others here do. Hang in there...
  3. keista

    keista New Member

    Welcome to the board.

    The sad reality is that if you keep up this double standard, you might end up "loosing" your daughter too. J is already filling her head with negative kid stuff - you don't have to listen, you don't have to do chores, you don't have to be respectful. Hey, Emm, If you don't believe me, just watch what I do! and she follows suit. You accept this behavior from him, so why not her? This can push her to become even MORE rebellious, because she's thinking you favor him and that's why he gets to 'get away with' stuff.

    J is about to become an adult. You have inadvertently set a very bad precedent for him. Once he's legally an adult he's going to think he can do ANYTHING he wants in your home, because, hey, he's an "adult"

    I would do an immediate 180 on any future visits in your home, he MUST respect YOUR (you and husband's) rules. PERIOD. You say you're afraid of 'loosing' him, but right now, what are you loosing? A disrespectful kid. And by giving him that 'double standard' all you are doing is fostering a disrespectful kid. HOPEFULLY he really is clean, but what if he's not? He's bragged about cheating the tests. (which I find odd in and of itself. Most kids don't tell their parents this kind of stuff) If he keeps using, you'll be loosing him to drugs anyway.

    If you do not EXPECT proper behavior from him, you won't get it. Just like above I said your daughter might think you prefer him, he's thinking you prefer her because you EXPECT good things from her but not from him.

  4. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    Oh my goodness! Thank you for reading my post! I needed that advice so badly I can't thank you enough. He will be back in December and things are going to change around here, and I will probably be glued to this forum from now on. I will keep you posted on how things go I am sure. I am sure I will need to vent and have more questions as things arise. But truly both me and my husband thank you a million times over. I am very new to posting on a forum, so I hope I did this right;)Big hug to you! ​
  5. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    Thank you!
  6. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I, too, am a stepmom... I, too, have a teenager who has done drugs, likely more than she admits.

    Now - I've had a lot more contact with O than you have with J. (by the way, if that is his real name, and your daughter's, you may want to change them for anonymity.) And the situation is clearly different. However... in my opinion, if he's denying anything SPECIFIC, the odds are it is a LIE.

    And I agree with keista. Seriously, you cannot have a double standard. It doesn't matter if you don't want to lose him - if he's doing drugs, he's already lost. The only thing you can do is provide a path for him to get found again. And that means you need to make him stick to your house rules. Do NOT let him walk on you.

    And please, oh please... try to get your husband on the same page... If he's not it will be so so so so so hard to enforce rules and consequences...

    And if J becomes abusive? CALL.THE.COPS. I'm not kidding. been there done that never ever ever going back.

  7. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Hello and welcome. So sorry for your troubles, being a stepparent has got to be tough! I am not a step parent, but the parent of a daughter who has used marijuana to self medicate. It would be great if biomom, yourself and dad all worked together. I would lay out the rules and hopefully they will be supported by his mom as well. I would include NO Druggy talk in your home. You can define this as anything that glorifies the use of illegal substances including alcohol. He should understand what this means because it is a big part of rehab. I would also let him know how much you and husband want a good relationship with him but being mean to pets or exposing your daughter to drug talk is abusive and you will not have it in your home. I would also have a talk with your daughter about J's troubles. She needs to know what has been going on and how you will be changing things. As long as he comes to your home and has a "vacation", he is not learning to be part of your family. He needs to do chores-no chores no food or fun. Being part of a family means pitching in. If you are soft, you and husband will end up being the place where he goes to be enabled later if he doesn't get his drug problem under control. Some of the parents on this board and the emeritus board have been through pure hell with their adult addict children. There are no hard and fast answers but, most of us agree that enabling is like handing them the drugs. I would never give him cash, the car, or free unsuporvised time in your house. Drug users almost always escalate to theft. It starts with their own families. I wish you luck. Keep us posted, love him unconditionally, don't take his ****, take care of you first, and protect your girl. Hugs
  8. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    Thank you! (don't worry, those are fictitious names for the kids) I agree with everything I've seen on this thread and I was poking around some more last night on other threads and just so greatful to have found this forum! And guess what! After getting Kiesta's reply before bed last night, I slept better than I have in weeks! And then to log on and see two more with more encouragement?! I love this place! Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!

    My husband is for the most part on the same page, I think that it will take some time for him to except all that we will need to do because Jarrod has always just come here for like a reatreat from his crazy life at home. It is a hard idea for Dad to lay down tough rules at this point because he has always been good time dad up until now. He knows instinctvly what needs to be done but it will take some serious will power for him to really put into action some tough rules. Jarrod has warned us before that he won't allow us to try and all of the sudden be authoritive. He likes to brag about his utter distain for any sort of authority, so I think all heck is about to break lose over here when he comes back. I also believe that he wants a reason to push us away. He is the type that loves drama, loves to be the kid in his group of friends that has the biggest most traumatic story to tell. He'd love no more for us to validate his stories of having a Dad that's never there, and a wicked step Mom, and he has said some crazy things about his own Mom. He loves this drama, so when we lay down rules I don't have any doubt that it will be casue for him to push away and go wallow in self pitty. I know that sounds terrible but this is his personality, plain and simple. He likes to play the angry victim. On a side note about the kitties: I thought about sending the cats to my sisters house while he is here, I really really am concered for thier little selves. I don't doubt that he may do something to them,when we lay down rules just to hurt us.

    His Mom and us have opened the line of communication. Her and I did that about 3 years ago, and she usually talks with me. I know she has been doing everything she knows for Jarrod with his probation, court hearings, rehab, all of that. We have discussed the importance of providing a united front, but now I know that unfortunately that united fron has been way tooooo soft. Everyone is so scared he will run. But I am not going to buy that load of garbage anymore. Y'all are right, what do we have to loose anyway? And hopefully someday he will straighten up and remember that we did not enable him by being too dang soft. We have got a lot of work to do. Emm does know what's going on and is aware of all of the stuff he is going through. I only hope that she really knows just how uncool it is, because he has got her confused about that too. I have tried very hard to let her know that Jarrods life is not fun despite how he glamorizes it(which will not be tolerated at all anymore), and that she will end up in Juvy too if she wants to follow his advice. And absolutely no more drug talk! that is something I can't believe I allowed. I did tell him not to glorify it to my daughter, but he loves to tell his stories. NO MORE. You are right on.

    So here's another question for everyone...since we only get Jarrod for a week next trip, and we will have little communication between now and then, do you think that we should send him a heartfelt but tough email outlining what he is to expect when he comes back? Or do we wait and have him come here, sit him down and risk having him go nuts and ruin Christmas? I mean I honestly don't know. I wouldn't hesitate to call the cops if he gets out of hand.

    So here's another bombshell that is heavy on my heart. I have had serious fertility issues for years. My husband and I have been spending all sorts of money and my body has been through three surgeries to correct my infertility. We have been dreaming of having a baby together and are in debt up to our eyeballs from everything I've had to go through to try and achieve a pregnancy. So far after three years of trying we have been unable to concieve. After being told by every local Doctor that my only option was to have a hysterectomy and forget about a baby, I finally found a doctor three years ago who gave us hope and did detailed surgeries to correct what other Doctors said couldn't be saved. We jumped through all of the hoops and were given hope I never thought I'd have. Then we found out about Jarrods problems last year I knew then that it would be a bad time to try to bring a baby in. Which broke my heart into a million peices. I already know that I am prone to preterm labor as well as I had it terribly with my daughter, and this nonsense with Jarrod would definaltely not be good for preterm labor. I am 33 now and time is tickin'. But why would I try to bring another baby into this mess? I have been broken hearted over this all month long and holding resentment towards Jarrod for it. I know that's not fair and I feel extremely guilty about it. EXTREMELY. I can't help it. After all I've been through to have a baby, emotionally finacially and phisically. I am ******, and that's the plain and sad truth. I get sad when I see anyone pregnant. I try to be rational and thank God for the one baby I did miraculously carry(Emm) and be greatful for Jarrod.

    So guess what? I am two weeks late, and will have to have a blood test to determine if I am actually pregnant. I am angry that I feel so sad about finally possibly being pregnant. Sometimes I just don't understand life. I know God has a plan for this family and I am a person of faith. But that doesn't mean that I am not terrified, confused, and angry. This precious thought of a baby is now a scary one. I have feelings of resentment towards Jarrod about this, and I know that is so wrong, I know. So extremely wrong, I am ashamed to say that, but I can't seem to help being angry at his selfishness and what it has cost our family.
  9. keista

    keista New Member


    Congrats on being "late". If you do have a viable pregnancy, stress is the LAST thing you need.

    Having said that I'd make it clear to J that you, husband and biomom are all on the same page, and the rules at her house apply at yours as well. (modified to fit your family and lifestyle) A 'heartfelt' letter is not needed if you are all truly on the same page. It is what it is. If this alone keeps him away, then that's a choice he makes.

    If you try the 'ambush' approach, then you MUST be ready for a fight, and MUST be ready for "Christmas to be ruined". in my opinion sometimes these types of fights are necessary, and it's a good and worthy fight to have, but be ready for it and stay strong through it. You are, in essence, fighting for his life. IF, however, you are pregnant, racing into the front lines is not a prudent decision.
  10. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    You and husband do not need to put your life on hold for this boy-that is giving him too much power. I am hoping that you are blessed and a baby is in your near future because that is your hearts desire. Regardless of J's "stuff" babies come into a world that is seldom the "Garden of Edan". If it is so, put your energy and love into making your daughter, husband, and baby a tight family unit. J is more likely to thrive in such a unit. The ball is in his court and the choices are his. If he chooses to not be a part of your family, you can't stop him, but it won't be your fault Keista is right about no heartfelt letter. I would not ambush either. I think a short email a few weeks before he comes stating your expectations and the fact that you will be supporting mom's rules is all that is needed. This gives him time to decide if he is willing to be part of your family for Christmas. Should he come and decide to cause problems be prepared to administer consequences (this should be husband job). If it's real bad, you have the option of calling the police but I would want the number of his PO (I'm assuming he has one). These people have power with the judge and his being noncompliant at home is a violation of orders for all kids. Most judges will not tolerate this behavior particularly if there is druggie talk and glamorizing going on. This is not narking, but holding him accountable for his own life (as Keista points out). I hope your blood test yeilds happy news and this will mean that your health must come first!
  11. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip


    I know exactly what you have gone through to try to have another child. husband was snipped long before he met me. Well, the doctor messed it up. There's nothing wrong with me per se. Thousands and thousands of dollars - we're broke - I got pregnant - it wasn't viable. D&C, anaesthesia - more doctor bills we cannot pay. Drat... I'm not 33, though. I'm 38.

    I know how it feels to see someone pregnant. BUT - let me tell you this. IF you are pregnant - first off, COOL!!! - second, take care of YOU. Tell husband he has to stand up to J, you need the support. And why bring a baby into this mess? Well, J is almost 18, is he not? What law says you have to have him live with you?

    And... Are things mostly calm except during his visits? Wondering.
  12. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    Okay guys! I am so blessed to have found you all. I am all teary with relief after reading your replies. I guess my perception has been off. I had my daughter at 20, was not married, and she and I had 7 years of single parent household, struggling financially and medically by ourselves before I met my husband. I think I have built up too much in my mind what the perfect situation was going to be next time I had a baby. I struggled so much the first time that I figured next time was going to somehow be perfect. So I am now excited to hurrry up and know if this test is going to be positive. Waiting for my doctor to call in the requision my local lab today(has to be blood draw only),so maybe I will know by tonight.
    I have run these ideas by my husband and he was definatly appreciative of all this great advice and now is more confident in doing these things that need to be done. Yippee! We are learning all sorts of wonderful info from you all, we did not know that we could report druggie talk and misconduct at home to his PO. Before we knew this we were thinking , well, we can lay down the law but how to enforce? Now we don't feel so helpless. Well, I am once again full of relief logging on again. I wanted to reach through the screen and hug y'all!
  13. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties trying to concieve. I sooooo understand the emotional roller coaster of it all. One thing that always makes me feelbetter about the age factor is that my Aunt didn't start her family until she was 43. She now has a 7 year old and a 4 year old. So I hope that makes you feel a little better too:)I believe in miracles, I really do!

    Up until this last visit, our past visits with Jarrod have been calm. And generally speaking our home can be a bit hectic with my daughter, Emm. She is very strong willed and loves drama. She gets in trouble for little things that she likes to try and turn into big fights. We do have our issues with her being dishonest and not doing chores. She is not the easiest kid when it comes to butting heads with her on everyday tasks, but her strong willed behavior at home does however, work to her advantage with her peers and at school. She has a leader personality , doesn't put up with kids telling her she should sneak out. She's also very involved with helping at church (totally her own choice to do so, she really loves it.) She really is a good kid, just likes a good argument,she says its because she's a red head AND Italian!We joke about that but she knows that that is a joke, not a valid reason by any means. She is usually remorsful after an argument as well, but can also be soooo manipulative. So there is at least one argument with her everyday to get her to do what she's supposed to do. We've tried every type of consequence imaginable and nothing seems to work. She's currently locked out of her room for a week after waaay too many arguments over chores and being disrespectful to Dad. Other than that our marriage has had a few bumpy moments as all do, but I can say that I am finally with someone who understands me, is my best friend and extremely compassionate. There is a lot of love in this house, despite life's craziness sometimes, we know have eachother's love.
    It is the passive aggressive mean comments just about every day I was getting from Jarrod this last trip that made things so stressful around here. Tension in the air was THICK. He told my daughter he was wanting a full blown fight with me. And really, it's all because I won't let his drug addicted ex girlfriend come for a visit. He's very angry about that and probably his life's decisions in general. He wants to take it out on us. So I avoided any fight with him last time, but my husband will be laying down the law about his disrespectful behaivior. We originally all planned for him to come out here to finish high school, start fresh and go to college, but now he says he has no plans for college either. My husband really wanted his son here and well,I did too untill he became so resentful towards me and began to show no signs of remorse but bragged about his troubles. He was remorsful and scared last year, wanted to start over and l was all for him coming here to do better and supporting him. Now the game has changed because his attitude has changed, and if he wants to move out here he's going to have to shape up of ship out. I just hope my husband will see it that way too. Husband feels like he really wants to make up for lost time with Jarrod but he also knows that Jarrods behavior is not going to fly here if it doesn't change. Getting support from everyone on here these last few days has been an eye opener for both of us and last night we had a big talk about all of these ideas shared on here we are feeling much more at ease about what we will have to do. It has helped my husband to know that the hard things we were scared to do really are what we have to do. If that makes sense? We are so greatful to have found you all. It is helping us sooooo much!
    Last edited: Aug 9, 2011
  14. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Hi there. Sorry about your problems and this is my opinion.

    If Jarrod comes in December and is still disrespectful and a bad influence on your daughter and a stress to you, have Dad find him a hotel and visit him there. Your daughter does NOT need his influence. Wouldn't shock me if he introduced her to drugs, since he made that scary comment about her being "the type" who uses drugs. If you are unwell, it is not good for you to deal with stress from a drug addict, whether or not he is your stepson. I would give the same advice if he was your own biological son.

    Hugggz and keep us posted!
  15. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    UPDATE! Soooo my pregnancy test came back POSITIVE!! I can't believe it! After ten years of infertility I am still in shock from this news. It makes me feel even more confident about not letting Jarrod stress me out. And if he does I really do like the hotel idea. But for now I am absolutely beside myself with joy, and today anyway, I feel like nothing Jarrod could try and pull would even phase me...but I know that's the shock and excitement talking. Husband has taken into great consideration everyone's advice and has decided that a short talk about respectfulness and not allowing druggie talk, shortly before he comes will be step one. Step two will be if he chooses not to be respectful while here, we will be reminding him that we have his PO's number and we are not afraid to use it. I telll you what, he is going to be a little shocked to know that we have done a bit of homework.
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Good start Rose! And CONGRATS!

    The second he does ANYTHING, including talk, etc. - have husband escort him OUT. If husband won't? Leave - you don't have to leave for long, just enough for husband to get the picture. because you HAVE to take care of yourself, the baby and your daughter.
  17. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member


    I'm so happy for you!
  18. keista

    keista New Member

    I just wanted to add that if you leave, do so WITH your daughter. The two of you can have a mini vacation in a hotel (find one with an indoor pool) until husband gets the picture or the visit is over.
  19. exhausted

    exhausted Active Member

    Wonderful news! Please put yourself first. :) and hugs!
  20. secondhandrose

    secondhandrose New Member

    Thank you everyone:) :choir:

    Jarrod was not keen on the idea of us trying to have a baby when he was here. Just another snarky way he tried to get to me. But when he heard the news I believe he is truly excited, he sent me an email that was most definatley his way of letting me know he was happy. We will see what attitude he comes with but I will be taking everyones advice and will be outta here if the tension starts, if Jarrod deosn't get the boot first that is.