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Substance Abuse
Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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<blockquote data-quote="exhausted" data-source="post: 451784" data-attributes="member: 11001"><p>You and husband do not need to put your life on hold for this boy-that is giving him too much power. I am hoping that you are blessed and a baby is in your near future because that is your hearts desire. Regardless of J's "stuff" babies come into a world that is seldom the "Garden of Edan". If it is so, put your energy and love into making your daughter, husband, and baby a tight family unit. J is more likely to thrive in such a unit. The ball is in his court and the choices are his. If he chooses to not be a part of your family, you can't stop him, but it won't be your fault Keista is right about no heartfelt letter. I would not ambush either. I think a short email a few weeks before he comes stating your expectations and the fact that you will be supporting mom's rules is all that is needed. This gives him time to decide if he is willing to be part of your family for Christmas. Should he come and decide to cause problems be prepared to administer consequences (this should be husband job). If it's real bad, you have the option of calling the police but I would want the number of his PO (I'm assuming he has one). These people have power with the judge and his being noncompliant at home is a violation of orders for all kids. Most judges will not tolerate this behavior particularly if there is druggie talk and glamorizing going on. This is not narking, but holding him accountable for his own life (as Keista points out). I hope your blood test yeilds happy news and this will mean that your health must come first!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="exhausted, post: 451784, member: 11001"] You and husband do not need to put your life on hold for this boy-that is giving him too much power. I am hoping that you are blessed and a baby is in your near future because that is your hearts desire. Regardless of J's "stuff" babies come into a world that is seldom the "Garden of Edan". If it is so, put your energy and love into making your daughter, husband, and baby a tight family unit. J is more likely to thrive in such a unit. The ball is in his court and the choices are his. If he chooses to not be a part of your family, you can't stop him, but it won't be your fault Keista is right about no heartfelt letter. I would not ambush either. I think a short email a few weeks before he comes stating your expectations and the fact that you will be supporting mom's rules is all that is needed. This gives him time to decide if he is willing to be part of your family for Christmas. Should he come and decide to cause problems be prepared to administer consequences (this should be husband job). If it's real bad, you have the option of calling the police but I would want the number of his PO (I'm assuming he has one). These people have power with the judge and his being noncompliant at home is a violation of orders for all kids. Most judges will not tolerate this behavior particularly if there is druggie talk and glamorizing going on. This is not narking, but holding him accountable for his own life (as Keista points out). I hope your blood test yeilds happy news and this will mean that your health must come first! [/QUOTE]
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Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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