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Substance Abuse
Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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<blockquote data-quote="secondhandrose" data-source="post: 451957" data-attributes="member: 12568"><p>I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties trying to concieve. I sooooo understand the emotional roller coaster of it all. One thing that always makes me feelbetter about the age factor is that my Aunt didn't start her family until she was 43. She now has a 7 year old and a 4 year old. So I hope that makes you feel a little better too<img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" />I believe in miracles, I really do! </p><p></p><p> Up until this last visit, our past visits with Jarrod have been calm. And generally speaking our home can be a bit hectic with my daughter, Emm. She is very strong willed and loves drama. She gets in trouble for little things that she likes to try and turn into big fights. We do have our issues with her being dishonest and not doing chores. She is not the easiest kid when it comes to butting heads with her on everyday tasks, but her strong willed behavior at home does however, work to her advantage with her peers and at school. She has a leader personality , doesn't put up with kids telling her she should sneak out. She's also very involved with helping at church (totally her own choice to do so, she really loves it.) She really is a good kid, just likes a good argument,she says its because she's a red head AND Italian!We joke about that but she knows that that is a joke, not a valid reason by any means. She is usually remorsful after an argument as well, but can also be soooo manipulative. So there is at least one argument with her everyday to get her to do what she's supposed to do. We've tried every type of consequence imaginable and nothing seems to work. She's currently locked out of her room for a week after waaay too many arguments over chores and being disrespectful to Dad. Other than that our marriage has had a few bumpy moments as all do, but I can say that I am finally with someone who understands me, is my best friend and extremely compassionate. There is a lot of love in this house, despite life's craziness sometimes, we know have eachother's love.</p><p>It is the passive aggressive mean comments just about every day I was getting from Jarrod this last trip that made things so stressful around here. Tension in the air was THICK. He told my daughter he was wanting a full blown fight with me. And really, it's all because I won't let his drug addicted ex girlfriend come for a visit. He's very angry about that and probably his life's decisions in general. He wants to take it out on us. So I avoided any fight with him last time, but my husband will be laying down the law about his disrespectful behaivior. We originally all planned for him to come out here to finish high school, start fresh and go to college, but now he says he has no plans for college either. My husband really wanted his son here and well,I did too untill he became so resentful towards me and began to show no signs of remorse but bragged about his troubles. He was remorsful and scared last year, wanted to start over and l was all for him coming here to do better and supporting him. Now the game has changed because his attitude has changed, and if he wants to move out here he's going to have to shape up of ship out. I just hope my husband will see it that way too. Husband feels like he really wants to make up for lost time with Jarrod but he also knows that Jarrods behavior is not going to fly here if it doesn't change. Getting support from everyone on here these last few days has been an eye opener for both of us and last night we had a big talk about all of these ideas shared on here we are feeling much more at ease about what we will have to do. It has helped my husband to know that the hard things we were scared to do really are what we have to do. If that makes sense? We are so greatful to have found you all. It is helping us sooooo much!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="secondhandrose, post: 451957, member: 12568"] I am so sorry to hear about your difficulties trying to concieve. I sooooo understand the emotional roller coaster of it all. One thing that always makes me feelbetter about the age factor is that my Aunt didn't start her family until she was 43. She now has a 7 year old and a 4 year old. So I hope that makes you feel a little better too:)I believe in miracles, I really do! Up until this last visit, our past visits with Jarrod have been calm. And generally speaking our home can be a bit hectic with my daughter, Emm. She is very strong willed and loves drama. She gets in trouble for little things that she likes to try and turn into big fights. We do have our issues with her being dishonest and not doing chores. She is not the easiest kid when it comes to butting heads with her on everyday tasks, but her strong willed behavior at home does however, work to her advantage with her peers and at school. She has a leader personality , doesn't put up with kids telling her she should sneak out. She's also very involved with helping at church (totally her own choice to do so, she really loves it.) She really is a good kid, just likes a good argument,she says its because she's a red head AND Italian!We joke about that but she knows that that is a joke, not a valid reason by any means. She is usually remorsful after an argument as well, but can also be soooo manipulative. So there is at least one argument with her everyday to get her to do what she's supposed to do. We've tried every type of consequence imaginable and nothing seems to work. She's currently locked out of her room for a week after waaay too many arguments over chores and being disrespectful to Dad. Other than that our marriage has had a few bumpy moments as all do, but I can say that I am finally with someone who understands me, is my best friend and extremely compassionate. There is a lot of love in this house, despite life's craziness sometimes, we know have eachother's love. It is the passive aggressive mean comments just about every day I was getting from Jarrod this last trip that made things so stressful around here. Tension in the air was THICK. He told my daughter he was wanting a full blown fight with me. And really, it's all because I won't let his drug addicted ex girlfriend come for a visit. He's very angry about that and probably his life's decisions in general. He wants to take it out on us. So I avoided any fight with him last time, but my husband will be laying down the law about his disrespectful behaivior. We originally all planned for him to come out here to finish high school, start fresh and go to college, but now he says he has no plans for college either. My husband really wanted his son here and well,I did too untill he became so resentful towards me and began to show no signs of remorse but bragged about his troubles. He was remorsful and scared last year, wanted to start over and l was all for him coming here to do better and supporting him. Now the game has changed because his attitude has changed, and if he wants to move out here he's going to have to shape up of ship out. I just hope my husband will see it that way too. Husband feels like he really wants to make up for lost time with Jarrod but he also knows that Jarrods behavior is not going to fly here if it doesn't change. Getting support from everyone on here these last few days has been an eye opener for both of us and last night we had a big talk about all of these ideas shared on here we are feeling much more at ease about what we will have to do. It has helped my husband to know that the hard things we were scared to do really are what we have to do. If that makes sense? We are so greatful to have found you all. It is helping us sooooo much! [/QUOTE]
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Step Mom of substance addicted teen, needs advice
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