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General Parenting
step parents and ODD - help!
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 456620" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>THAT would be an issue for couple counselling. You two have to be on the same page in how you approach the kids, and that means working the bugs out of your own relationship.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Don't take this as a suggestion that this diagnosis applies... but I'm suggesting you look up Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (attachment disorder) - we did that at one point, and discovered signed of "detachment" that were troublesome. We invested significantly in relationship building with difficult child - and it is NOT done with negative discipline, trust me. Your S/O needs to find activities that are so positive for difficult child that he will work with and cooperate within that framework. The ticket to getting more of what he wants needs to be his relationship with S/O - but not on a "rewards" basis. Building the relationship has to be on mutually acceptable terms - which means it cannot be overridden by "discipline". S/O needs to act more like a "Big Brother" volunteer. Get difficult child to bond with S/O. Leave 200% of the discipline to YOU. That is the only way to break difficult child's feeling that "everybody is against him". Break that - and you have a hope at making other changes.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 456620, member: 11791"] THAT would be an issue for couple counselling. You two have to be on the same page in how you approach the kids, and that means working the bugs out of your own relationship. Don't take this as a suggestion that this diagnosis applies... but I'm suggesting you look up Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) (attachment disorder) - we did that at one point, and discovered signed of "detachment" that were troublesome. We invested significantly in relationship building with difficult child - and it is NOT done with negative discipline, trust me. Your S/O needs to find activities that are so positive for difficult child that he will work with and cooperate within that framework. The ticket to getting more of what he wants needs to be his relationship with S/O - but not on a "rewards" basis. Building the relationship has to be on mutually acceptable terms - which means it cannot be overridden by "discipline". S/O needs to act more like a "Big Brother" volunteer. Get difficult child to bond with S/O. Leave 200% of the discipline to YOU. That is the only way to break difficult child's feeling that "everybody is against him". Break that - and you have a hope at making other changes. [/QUOTE]
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