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General Parenting
step parents and ODD - help!
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<blockquote data-quote="InsaneCdn" data-source="post: 456681" data-attributes="member: 11791"><p>PM me. I won't post our details on-line.</p><p>We didn't find any books - and it was more "one paragraph here" and "a sentence there" from hundreds of hours of prowling the net...</p><p></p><p>The general theory is to find ONE thing that both ChrisHoney and difficult child agree is a great thing to do. It has to be a "high value" activity for difficult child - high enough that he wants to behave during the activity.</p><p>Then, that activity is done on a frequently-scheduled basis - with <u>absolutely no strings attached.</u> It is done because they both enjoy it. No other reason.</p><p>Once they agree on something, find another and start alternating. In the short run, ChrisHoney may have to work up to spending 3-4 hours a day doing this.</p><p>While THEY are at it, you need to do the same. Find something you and difficult child can enjoy, just the two of you - and again, it has to be "high value" for difficult child.</p><p>You won't have a life for months. But in another sense, you will - because if reattachment works, the other problems start dropping and you "get a life back".</p><p>In the long run, you have to keep this stuff up, but not with the same level of intensity - 1x or 2x/week, not "constantly".</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="InsaneCdn, post: 456681, member: 11791"] PM me. I won't post our details on-line. We didn't find any books - and it was more "one paragraph here" and "a sentence there" from hundreds of hours of prowling the net... The general theory is to find ONE thing that both ChrisHoney and difficult child agree is a great thing to do. It has to be a "high value" activity for difficult child - high enough that he wants to behave during the activity. Then, that activity is done on a frequently-scheduled basis - with [U]absolutely no strings attached.[/U] It is done because they both enjoy it. No other reason. Once they agree on something, find another and start alternating. In the short run, ChrisHoney may have to work up to spending 3-4 hours a day doing this. While THEY are at it, you need to do the same. Find something you and difficult child can enjoy, just the two of you - and again, it has to be "high value" for difficult child. You won't have a life for months. But in another sense, you will - because if reattachment works, the other problems start dropping and you "get a life back". In the long run, you have to keep this stuff up, but not with the same level of intensity - 1x or 2x/week, not "constantly". [/QUOTE]
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