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Parent Emeritus
Still Feel Off - Some Venting
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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 752504" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Daisy C, I am learning to use the principles for dealing with my Difficult Child that are helping me in all my relationships. Now I hold everybody's feet to the fire. I dont avoid confrontation. I do communicate. I reflect back what I think I heard. Turns out, things said or done to me, or from me, are not always interpreted as meant. </p><p></p><p>I grew up with parents that were always fighting. As an only child for the first 11 years of my life, I took on the role of peace maker. I believe that shaped my self esteem in an abnormal way. I dont blame them, they did the best they knew to do, I am certain of that. Blaming doesnt solve or explain anything. I tried to figure out what I could have done differently with my Difficult Child. The fact is, nothing. </p><p></p><p>I have read a lot on the importance of putting my needs first. So, I am not walking on eggshells anymore. Well, maybe there is a crunch here and there, but I now ask myself What "I" want from x, y, z. It's not about what I wish someone would change, it's about what I am willing to accept. The beauty of it is that others respond well when they know my boundaries. I am getting better at being me. I cant fix others, but I can set limits on what I will accept from them, within reason, of course. </p><p></p><p>Let them fall, maybe they won't. Make time to figure out how to be you. </p><p></p><p>"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." Maya Angelou </p><p></p><p>Love and light</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 752504, member: 23811"] Daisy C, I am learning to use the principles for dealing with my Difficult Child that are helping me in all my relationships. Now I hold everybody's feet to the fire. I dont avoid confrontation. I do communicate. I reflect back what I think I heard. Turns out, things said or done to me, or from me, are not always interpreted as meant. I grew up with parents that were always fighting. As an only child for the first 11 years of my life, I took on the role of peace maker. I believe that shaped my self esteem in an abnormal way. I dont blame them, they did the best they knew to do, I am certain of that. Blaming doesnt solve or explain anything. I tried to figure out what I could have done differently with my Difficult Child. The fact is, nothing. I have read a lot on the importance of putting my needs first. So, I am not walking on eggshells anymore. Well, maybe there is a crunch here and there, but I now ask myself What "I" want from x, y, z. It's not about what I wish someone would change, it's about what I am willing to accept. The beauty of it is that others respond well when they know my boundaries. I am getting better at being me. I cant fix others, but I can set limits on what I will accept from them, within reason, of course. Let them fall, maybe they won't. Make time to figure out how to be you. "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." Maya Angelou Love and light [/QUOTE]
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Still Feel Off - Some Venting
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