We are past the birthday party, my granddaughter had a wonderful time. I was finally able to see my therapist last week about the whole situation. He clarified some things for me and said I need to take time and heal myself first. I wasn't sure how to handle the holidays, but he said I'm thinking too far ahead. Take time for you. I wrote the email to my mom but didn't send it, the tone will still angry and I don't want to come off that way. My husband admitted to his mistakes and said it wasn't right what he did. He will not parent her anymore which I stopped doing awhile ago. Her rudeness and lack of consideration an reflects on her. My dad called and said, basically my husband was wrong but no mention of my mom or daughters behavior being wrong. I told him they all were wrong and everyone handled it poorly and that mom seems more controlling lately. My mom and dads relationship is not perfect and neither is mine, but I realized my mom is controlling and treats and talks to my dad badly and my dad makes excuses as to why she does it, so it's ok, which he tends to do for my brother (addicted to meth), my daughter (alcoholic, possibly bi-polar) and my mom. I never really realized that my mom is really mean to my dad, until my husband mentioned it to me, maybe because I was used to it, but as I think back, she really is controlling him for some mistakes he's made in the past and she constantly holds that over him. My daughter found a place to live, not the greatest part of town, but as of now she can afford it with her Pell grant money, but that won't go too far with no job. I offered to help with my granddaughter and take a couple of days off work once the baby is born. I have asked friends for baby thing they no longer use and I purchased a car seat, as they won't let you leave the hospital without one. I hope she proves us all wrong. I told her that this weekend Goodwill has it's 50% off all stuff, so I might stop and grab a couple of things. I'm just not sure how to move forward and kindly telling my parents that they need to get some help and let my mom gently know she can only control herself and her actions, I don't think anyone has ever mentioned this to her or if she even realizes it. She used to get into screaming matches with my brother's ex-wife. I want to still speak to my mom, but if she continues to try on control what others say or how they act, because she thinks it's rude or negative, then we can't all have a real relationship, we will always feel like we are walking on egg shells because who knows what will trigger her. Last time it was something my son said in conversation during dinner while we were visiting, so she called me and said I shouldn't be involving him, which I don't. He's 15 I can't control what he says nor what him and Cass talk about. I still feel hurt and shocked that my mom would speak to my husband that way, then told my husband not to tell me. He has always been respectful to both my parents and always doing what he can for them and would do anything for them more than their own son has ever done for them. Like I said he was wrong he admitted it and owned up to it. My home is peaceful once again no tension no disasters to come home to. Just need to focus on myself right now, but it's hard because I'm always thinking ahead. Therapist is super helpful. It's nice to get an outside view on things. He said not to worry about my mom right now and she is feeling the consequences of her actions and it's important that she feels that.