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Parent Emeritus
Still Feel Off - Some Venting
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 752513" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Wow, Copa. This advice is great. One can confront people without confrontation. We can set boundaries (consequences) when others treat us badly or behave in ways that are unacceptable to us. No words need be constantly spoken.</p><p></p><p>If you pull back from your mother, she will know why. She remembers. You already brought it up. Dad knows too. He excused and enabled what you consider bad behavior when you asked about it.</p><p></p><p>The ball is now in your court. Do you wish to take action? Do you NEED to take action? Do you feel you must pull back or not? The beauty is, it is up to you. You can decide to set boundaries and see them less and protect your heart. Or you can let it go and decide you want even difficult parents in your life in a close way. We decide this with our kids all the time. We ponder what we will tolerate to have a relationship with a confrontational person. You come up with your own solution, and it's all okay...as long as you keep your eye on the ball and remember that nobody is going to necessarily change the way you want. And whatever you do, do it for your own health, not as a punishment to others. And be the kindest to yourself, an odd concept for most here.</p><p></p><p>You can do this. You are on your way.</p><p></p><p>Copa, wonderful words again.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 752513, member: 23706"] Wow, Copa. This advice is great. One can confront people without confrontation. We can set boundaries (consequences) when others treat us badly or behave in ways that are unacceptable to us. No words need be constantly spoken. If you pull back from your mother, she will know why. She remembers. You already brought it up. Dad knows too. He excused and enabled what you consider bad behavior when you asked about it. The ball is now in your court. Do you wish to take action? Do you NEED to take action? Do you feel you must pull back or not? The beauty is, it is up to you. You can decide to set boundaries and see them less and protect your heart. Or you can let it go and decide you want even difficult parents in your life in a close way. We decide this with our kids all the time. We ponder what we will tolerate to have a relationship with a confrontational person. You come up with your own solution, and it's all okay...as long as you keep your eye on the ball and remember that nobody is going to necessarily change the way you want. And whatever you do, do it for your own health, not as a punishment to others. And be the kindest to yourself, an odd concept for most here. You can do this. You are on your way. Copa, wonderful words again. [/QUOTE]
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Still Feel Off - Some Venting
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