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still feeling surreal about H's death
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<blockquote data-quote="mstang67chic" data-source="post: 139934" data-attributes="member: 2459"><p>My Grandpa died a year ago this past December. I was there for a week while he was in the hospital and hospice but had to leave the day before he died. I also wasn't able to go back for the memorial service. My entire life, my grandparents haven't lived closer than three hours from me and at the time of G'pa's death, they lived in Florida. (I'm in Indiana) Even after all this time, it's still weird that he's not here and I think that, for me, it's because of the distance. No matter where they lived, I always knew he was there. As for rememberances, I have pictures of course but I also have a shirt of his as well as a little note I swiped from their car. By the time he died, G'pa hadn't been able to speak for awhile and was writing notes. I think the one I have is asking G'ma when to put the fabric softener in the wash. (And let me tell you, I would have paid good money to see my very tradition G'pa doing laundry! LOL) Do you think M would be receptive if you asked her for something of H's? Maybe there's something that you gave H that you could ask for. I wouldn't think that anyone would deny family members momentos in this type of situation.</p><p></p><p>As for not feeling real........have you considered holding your own memorial service? I don't know if anyone where you live knew her and I'm not saying you should do a full out service but I think you need to do something. You're right.....you really haven't had closure and you need it. Do a service of some sort, throw a wake, do whatever feels right but do something. JMHO, but it sounds like you haven't found a way of saying goodbye that works for you. Or at the very least, you haven't had the formality of saying goodbye, if that makes sense. </p><p></p><p>Continually sending hugs your way.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mstang67chic, post: 139934, member: 2459"] My Grandpa died a year ago this past December. I was there for a week while he was in the hospital and hospice but had to leave the day before he died. I also wasn't able to go back for the memorial service. My entire life, my grandparents haven't lived closer than three hours from me and at the time of G'pa's death, they lived in Florida. (I'm in Indiana) Even after all this time, it's still weird that he's not here and I think that, for me, it's because of the distance. No matter where they lived, I always knew he was there. As for rememberances, I have pictures of course but I also have a shirt of his as well as a little note I swiped from their car. By the time he died, G'pa hadn't been able to speak for awhile and was writing notes. I think the one I have is asking G'ma when to put the fabric softener in the wash. (And let me tell you, I would have paid good money to see my very tradition G'pa doing laundry! LOL) Do you think M would be receptive if you asked her for something of H's? Maybe there's something that you gave H that you could ask for. I wouldn't think that anyone would deny family members momentos in this type of situation. As for not feeling real........have you considered holding your own memorial service? I don't know if anyone where you live knew her and I'm not saying you should do a full out service but I think you need to do something. You're right.....you really haven't had closure and you need it. Do a service of some sort, throw a wake, do whatever feels right but do something. JMHO, but it sounds like you haven't found a way of saying goodbye that works for you. Or at the very least, you haven't had the formality of saying goodbye, if that makes sense. Continually sending hugs your way. [/QUOTE]
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still feeling surreal about H's death
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