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The Watercooler
still feeling surreal about H's death
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<blockquote data-quote="Steely" data-source="post: 140044" data-attributes="member: 3301"><p>Thank you Kitty - you are right. Denial. I so forget about that step. I guess because it seems so nebulous, intangible, abstract. However, denial is exactly what I feel. As if this has never happened.</p><p></p><p>And Shari, that is so true. Memories are one thing, but pictures and objects bring tears.</p><p></p><p>I talked to my parents tonight and they are going to talk to M. Legally, everything is in my parent's name - and M. has not expressed any opposition about giving things to us - she just has not been responsive. So I think it will just be a matter of my parent's stepping up, and asking/requesting specific things. They are trying their best to honor and respect what I want, despite our horrible misgivings during H's disappearance, and I appreciate that. </p><p></p><p>I told my parents that I want H's books. Those were her treasure, her escape, her passion - and those same books were the ones she shared with me, enlightened me to, and encouraged me to read. That and her dog are the 2 passions she held dearest to her heart. M. has the dog which is perfect. I know I cannot take care of her pup like she would have wanted, having 3 of my own. However, the books, I hope I can retain as part of her legacy.</p><p></p><p>Yea, denial. You are so right. I always tend to think I am going crazy, or insane - when here I have been for 41 years plugging away at life. I should realize that after all this time, whatever way I deal with things is OK. I guess I need to trust myself to go through this tragedy, rather than doubt my ability to withstand the fire.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Steely, post: 140044, member: 3301"] Thank you Kitty - you are right. Denial. I so forget about that step. I guess because it seems so nebulous, intangible, abstract. However, denial is exactly what I feel. As if this has never happened. And Shari, that is so true. Memories are one thing, but pictures and objects bring tears. I talked to my parents tonight and they are going to talk to M. Legally, everything is in my parent's name - and M. has not expressed any opposition about giving things to us - she just has not been responsive. So I think it will just be a matter of my parent's stepping up, and asking/requesting specific things. They are trying their best to honor and respect what I want, despite our horrible misgivings during H's disappearance, and I appreciate that. I told my parents that I want H's books. Those were her treasure, her escape, her passion - and those same books were the ones she shared with me, enlightened me to, and encouraged me to read. That and her dog are the 2 passions she held dearest to her heart. M. has the dog which is perfect. I know I cannot take care of her pup like she would have wanted, having 3 of my own. However, the books, I hope I can retain as part of her legacy. Yea, denial. You are so right. I always tend to think I am going crazy, or insane - when here I have been for 41 years plugging away at life. I should realize that after all this time, whatever way I deal with things is OK. I guess I need to trust myself to go through this tragedy, rather than doubt my ability to withstand the fire. [/QUOTE]
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still feeling surreal about H's death
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