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<blockquote data-quote="Signorina" data-source="post: 597740"><p>Oh honey, I am aching for you.</p><p></p><p>I read your post, and I couldn't help but think of football. Both difficult child and pc16 play(ed) the same position-- Defensive End. One night at dinner, they were both relating to me that from the moment the ball is snapped, their eyes are darting, adrenalin pumping, as their mind is racing- "where's the ball?", "where's the ball?", "where's the ball?", until they figure out where the play will be and make sure they get there...(hopefully)</p><p></p><p>i feel like you are playing defensive end right now...except you are wondering "where's difficult child going with this?" instead of "where's the ball". And boy do I relate to that!! Not that long ago, I posted a whole analogy to feeling like "The Catcher in the Rye." A need to be on high alert so that I could stay one step ahead difficult child at all times -- just so I could keep him from falling into the abyss, or so that I could be ready to strike with exactly the right help when he hit his bottom. So, I am absolutely not judging you. been there done that, have the tee shirt, and the battle wounds, worry lines and the gray hair et al.</p><p></p><p>Except, that none of it turned out to be where I thought it was going. Both the good and the bad. I couldn't predict what was coming next no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't decipher his actions or find a pattern or any of that. Still can't. I can't speak for our board sisters, but I remember more than a few posts about bad indications- like suspicious phone records and (unfortunately) positive indications like-promising behavior- that lead us down the wrong trail. The only thing we know for certain about out difficult children, is that they will keep us guessing.</p><p></p><p>So, tuck what you know in the back of your mind. thank you not to look for clues. You will only make yourself crazy. Take this NC as a welcome period of respite, you will likely need it someday. TAKE CARE OF YOU. Don't look forward or back, look inward if need be or better yet; just stop looking at all. </p><p></p><p>If I had to guess? I'd say that your son is keeping all lines of communication and options open with everyone. He knows he isn't where he needs to be, and he is building bridges "just in case". Don't think of those ppl as potential victims, my guess is difficult child is reaffirming bonds with them as ports in a storm. He knows the storm is brewing. He just doesn't realize that he is the storm. I think he will eventually. </p><p></p><p>Don't give up hope, just give up second guessing. It's time to be still. Just still, let it be. Just for now.</p><p></p><p>Thinking warmly of you ...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Signorina, post: 597740"] Oh honey, I am aching for you. I read your post, and I couldn't help but think of football. Both difficult child and pc16 play(ed) the same position-- Defensive End. One night at dinner, they were both relating to me that from the moment the ball is snapped, their eyes are darting, adrenalin pumping, as their mind is racing- "where's the ball?", "where's the ball?", "where's the ball?", until they figure out where the play will be and make sure they get there...(hopefully) i feel like you are playing defensive end right now...except you are wondering "where's difficult child going with this?" instead of "where's the ball". And boy do I relate to that!! Not that long ago, I posted a whole analogy to feeling like "The Catcher in the Rye." A need to be on high alert so that I could stay one step ahead difficult child at all times -- just so I could keep him from falling into the abyss, or so that I could be ready to strike with exactly the right help when he hit his bottom. So, I am absolutely not judging you. been there done that, have the tee shirt, and the battle wounds, worry lines and the gray hair et al. Except, that none of it turned out to be where I thought it was going. Both the good and the bad. I couldn't predict what was coming next no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't decipher his actions or find a pattern or any of that. Still can't. I can't speak for our board sisters, but I remember more than a few posts about bad indications- like suspicious phone records and (unfortunately) positive indications like-promising behavior- that lead us down the wrong trail. The only thing we know for certain about out difficult children, is that they will keep us guessing. So, tuck what you know in the back of your mind. thank you not to look for clues. You will only make yourself crazy. Take this NC as a welcome period of respite, you will likely need it someday. TAKE CARE OF YOU. Don't look forward or back, look inward if need be or better yet; just stop looking at all. If I had to guess? I'd say that your son is keeping all lines of communication and options open with everyone. He knows he isn't where he needs to be, and he is building bridges "just in case". Don't think of those ppl as potential victims, my guess is difficult child is reaffirming bonds with them as ports in a storm. He knows the storm is brewing. He just doesn't realize that he is the storm. I think he will eventually. Don't give up hope, just give up second guessing. It's time to be still. Just still, let it be. Just for now. Thinking warmly of you ... [/QUOTE]
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