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<blockquote data-quote="Fran" data-source="post: 147163" data-attributes="member: 3"><p>Witz, I think it's a good idea to approach L together but since you know the situation with L's dad, you know it won't go as you think it should. He is not going to do only what you agreed to. Human nature isn't like that from what I can tell. Being a black/white sort of person that I am, I can see that I would have to anticipate different scenario's so that I don't lose site of the goal. Which is to encourage L to seek therapy, and to speak to her parents in a civil tone of voice. Approaching the subject of her seeming to use her parents for dinners and things might be a topic that should lightly brought up but encourage her to seek counseling for that sort of greediness and superficiality. It could trigger a lot of defensiveness. </p><p></p><p>It can be a productive meeting if there is a clear goal that both of the parents agree to but the rest of the conversations, reactions and rebuttals will be pretty fluid. We just can't control what other's say and think. No matter what is agreed to earlier on because he may not have the same interpretation as you do. Besides they (both L and her dad) can present other sides to issues that I would miss in my black and white sort of brain.</p><p></p><p>Does that make sense? I'm wishing that this will be a satisfactory meeting of mother and daughter and her father.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Fran, post: 147163, member: 3"] Witz, I think it's a good idea to approach L together but since you know the situation with L's dad, you know it won't go as you think it should. He is not going to do only what you agreed to. Human nature isn't like that from what I can tell. Being a black/white sort of person that I am, I can see that I would have to anticipate different scenario's so that I don't lose site of the goal. Which is to encourage L to seek therapy, and to speak to her parents in a civil tone of voice. Approaching the subject of her seeming to use her parents for dinners and things might be a topic that should lightly brought up but encourage her to seek counseling for that sort of greediness and superficiality. It could trigger a lot of defensiveness. It can be a productive meeting if there is a clear goal that both of the parents agree to but the rest of the conversations, reactions and rebuttals will be pretty fluid. We just can't control what other's say and think. No matter what is agreed to earlier on because he may not have the same interpretation as you do. Besides they (both L and her dad) can present other sides to issues that I would miss in my black and white sort of brain. Does that make sense? I'm wishing that this will be a satisfactory meeting of mother and daughter and her father. [/QUOTE]
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