So, you may all remember that L has been really rude to us lately, moreso than ever. I gave her a quick text at work last week confirming a phone number that I had transposed. It took a couple of messages to figure out. She called me and started screaming "I'm busy! I can't talk now, but you did this and that and you should have done that and this!" Me, "I don't think so, let me check." "Yes you did!" I said "If you can't talk, you should say so, not keep it going" and hung up. What's so difficult with "I'm busy now. I call you later"? She's 25 years old for crying out loud! She called me last week to tell me that she and her on again off again she's not living with him boyfriend were going out to dinner at the end of the block to celebrate their "4th anniversary." I said "4th anniversary of what?" "Of being together. Sort of. Except for a couple of months." I told her to stop by to pick up her gift from Mexico. They didn't. The only time we ever see her is when we are doing a party or dinner out that she can worm her way into. She's been particularly insolent to me since she got all involved with my "I'm so perfect and happy and no one else is as good as me" sister at Christmas. husband and I talked about it. We agreed that she seems very unhappy and is making very poor life decisions (going back to the boyfriend who doesn't love her). We agreed that her dad isn't helping things by providing her with a $700 a month allowance, car insurance, health insurance, and cell phone with no strings attached. I have known about all of this for years. We think that she is disappointed that she actually has to work at a job 40 hpw at minimal pay and she doesn't have much other than a designer bag her boyfriend gave her and the world's most expensive tanning package to show for it. She had gone to see her therapist from when she was a kid and gotten back on AD's a few years back, but she only saw him once or twice and is off the medications. We think she should be seeing a therapist on a regular basis. So, I called her dad. He told me that he has only seen her twice since Christmas, once when he bought her dinner for his birthday, and once when he bought her dinner for her birthday. He has only spoken to her a couple of times, and she is not speaking to her half sister, who is younger, has graduated college, and inherited a great deal - a million or so when you include the real estate - from L's step mom. He told me (finally) about all of the financial support he's given her, and that maybe it's not a good idea. DUH. He said "It seems to me that the best job in town is being RC's oldest daughter." Now, bear in mind that he blew through her pittance of an inheritance from the step-mother by repaying $ that someone misappropriated from client funds, she does have something to hold over/against him. But if she loves him, he needs to let that go and so does she. Bearing in mind that he is an attorney diagnosed with an Narcissist Complex who likes to talk about himself, we are being gloried with an hour of his time this evening. This means that somehow we have to steer the conversation back to L from time to time, and get to the point that he sees a way to wean her off the money teet. I also plan to suggest that should he continue to provide health insurance through his company (which is why she gets $700 a month as "wages she does no work for because she has to be an employee to qualify for insurance,) it be with the proviso that she get regular therapy with copays out of her pocket. husband and I will be (and so should her dad be) willing to participate from time to time to deal with her in a safe way (no screaming crying fits) on some of her obvious issues with us. I plan to make some notes to keep myself on track. I know that if I get to relate some of my recent situational concerns with her, then I have to be patient and allow him time to talk as well. Unfortunately, we are meeting at 5:30, he's always late, and he has a 7:00 appointment with his therapy group. I think it's a good thing that he is meeting immediately with his therapy group, because I don't think anyone would disagree with what I am saying, and hopefully he won't be able to stop himself from talking about it. husband and I agreed that we don't want him to present anything to her as "your mom and I agree" unless we can present a united front, and that means he would have to come back to us with a proposal as to how he will approach it. It's not realistic that we should approach her about the money/things he gives her because it's got nothing to do with us. So, think good thoughts that both he and I can set our gripes aside for an hour in order to get to the heart of the matter, and that we can get him to agree to take time to think about this seriously, and discuss his thoughts about it with us before he presents it to her, or at least that he will present it to her without saying "your mom and I talked" and then do something that I wouldn't have done.