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The Watercooler
Stressed...feel like Im stuck between a rock and a hard place!!
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 318576" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>I'm sorry if I misunderstood your postion. I thought you were saying that the bioparents are not dependable enough to be parents or dependable enough to assist you parent. I understood you to be saying that as much as you love your grandson that you could not face another twenty year delay in finding some personal freedom. My response was intended to say "I understand".</p><p> </p><p>One other issue that was not brought up in this thread is future reproduction. Many of us grandparents who take over parenting for difficult children unwilling or incapable of parenting appropriately end up as pawns for all the future. Every holiday or big event the bioparents are apt to "choose" to be with "their kids". Every month there is a chance that another sibling will be conceived and then opens a huge new problem..."my children need to know each other" "Johnny you be kind to your baby sister and help us</p><p>raise her". It goes on ad nauseum. If you are very lucky the baby sister and little brother will share common genes with the child you are raising. If not...then you have to panic each time there is a visitation and "your child" is freely given to a siblings bioparent whom you don't know well. Yuk</p><p> </p><p>Truly, truly, I wish you good luck but I strongly encourage you not to hope for the best with the bioparents. It almost never happens. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 318576, member: 35"] I'm sorry if I misunderstood your postion. I thought you were saying that the bioparents are not dependable enough to be parents or dependable enough to assist you parent. I understood you to be saying that as much as you love your grandson that you could not face another twenty year delay in finding some personal freedom. My response was intended to say "I understand". One other issue that was not brought up in this thread is future reproduction. Many of us grandparents who take over parenting for difficult children unwilling or incapable of parenting appropriately end up as pawns for all the future. Every holiday or big event the bioparents are apt to "choose" to be with "their kids". Every month there is a chance that another sibling will be conceived and then opens a huge new problem..."my children need to know each other" "Johnny you be kind to your baby sister and help us raise her". It goes on ad nauseum. If you are very lucky the baby sister and little brother will share common genes with the child you are raising. If not...then you have to panic each time there is a visitation and "your child" is freely given to a siblings bioparent whom you don't know well. Yuk Truly, truly, I wish you good luck but I strongly encourage you not to hope for the best with the bioparents. It almost never happens. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Stressed...feel like Im stuck between a rock and a hard place!!
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