Stressing a bit

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Sep 19, 2011.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    We've been over the insurance paperwork for the house. It states nothing or has no clause that if one of us should die the house would be paid. And easy child called the co and they told her they didn't offer such a benefit.

    We've been over the house papers, and can't find anything that specifically states it either. There is one charge on one page that is "iffy" as it states mortgage insurance but doesn't have it stated as how her research online says it's normally stated. But I did tell her what other reason would it say mortgage insurance? If you don't pay, you lose your house, so I can't think of another reason. The house insurance is required as long as your making house payments, which would cover everything else as far as the property goes.

    Tomorrow we're going to talk to the loan officer. I hope and pray that they have the paperwork there.

    Maybe I shouldn't be worrying about this right now, and I've tried not to, but I simply can't help it. I mean, a person has to have a place to live.

    At that time my short term memory was much worse than now, but I remember the conversation, I remember adding it, I remember digging in my heels about it because husband didn't want it because he figured it would cost a lot of money, which it actually didn't. I remember the loan agent saying how wise it was to think of it because you never know what might happen. And I remember telling her that I knew about it because my mom had it set up for me like that as a teen.

    Now, my short term memory stinks at the remembering part, I don't conger up memories out of the blue. If I remember it, it happened. I think the reason I remembered it was because I'd told everyone like my mom, easy child, Nichole, and even Travis so that if husband forgot........they'd remind him. Oddly enough, I did it because I didn't want him to have to worry about making a house payment if I passed away while trying to deal with kids and all the other stuff. I never dreamed he'd go first.

    I couldn't get the man to do wills or anything else. But I made sure that was done.

    I can just barely meet the household expenses with what easy child pays me. No way can I do the house payment even though it's not really high. Unless I can get someone to hire me for weekends only. Not sure if anyone would, but I'll give it one hellova shot.

    So I don't understand why it's not in the paperwork, clearly stated. husband nor I would've thought much about it at the time as this is the first house we ever owned.

    It has me panicking a bit. It's not just me I have to worry about, there is Travis and furbabies too.

    sister in law and easy child have already evidently discussed this at length, and it was his idea for all of us to move in with them if there is nothing to pay off the house with, and just let the house go. And while that tells me how much they love me (which I already knew), I'm balking. Their house is a teeny 3 bedroom starter home. We'd literally be climbing all over each other, even without the furbabies coming along. I'm old enough to know in less than a week we'd all be ready to strangle each other. It simply would not work.

    It's been suggested that I ask my Mom to move in with me. While our relationship has vastly improved and she's greatly mellowed in recent years.......the thought of "caring" for another person I'm going to lose is sort of putting me off of the idea right now. That may change later, but now no. And I'm doubtful she'd go for it. I'd have to wait until my grief isn't so raw to seriously consider it.

    If there isn't insurance to cover the mortgage, I still don't want to just throw up my hands and walk away from the house. easy child and sister in law can't understand why. They're worried that I'll keeping putting in payments and still lose it in the end. And they think I can use whatever money I have to get finances in order. While those are valid points, I waited 20 yrs to have my own house. I had to be run over by a truck to have the down payment to have my own house. I love this house. Just walking away from it feels like I'm giving up. I'm not ready to give up everything.

    I just lost husband. I had no say so in that. I don't want to lose everything else on top of it. Not if there is a chance I can find a way to make it work. Know what I mean??

    If that protection for the mortgage doesn't exist........I'm not going to take it well. I'm going to be livid after all the effort to make sure it was in place, and now that I need it, it's not there.
  2. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    I had mentioned this to my Mom, and it's pretty standard with mortgage insurance. I will ask in depth tomorrow morning.

    In the meantime, breathe... we love you.
  3. Liahona

    Liahona Guest

    I've read someone on this forum has a job just on the weekend. I think she is a nurse. I'm sorry you are having this problem right now. Yes, you do need a place to live. I know that I wouldn't be able to stop worrying about it; if this were me. Maybe easy child could move in with you instead of you moving in with her? I'm not familiar with the situation so that might not be feasible. Just an idea. Maybe a different renter? Is there a collage nearby? A really nice dedicated easy child who is gone to class all day and studies all night.
  4. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    {{{Hugs}}} It was probably written as a separate policy.
  5. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    It is usually written into the mortgage. For example, our mortgage payment includes the property taxes and the homeowners insurance. father in law and H opted out of the life insurance to cover the mortgage (against my better judgement) but that would have been in there as well. Check your mortgage papers just in case.

    Sorry it's all so stressful. Hopefully as things iron themselves out, you will feel more secure. Sending positive insurance juju and warm hugs.
  6. HaoZi

    HaoZi Guest

    *hugs* hon. If he had other life insurance there might be paperwork with that, and check into possible spousal benefits from the military, too, as well as SS/retirement spouse benefits.
  7. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Far more likely to be attached to the mortgage - the house insurance would be totally separate.
    I know ours showed on every mortgage statement.

  8. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    Did you have mortgage insurance, or mortgage life insurance? Wikipedia actually does a good job of explaining the differences and details. You might give them a google.
    Hope all questions will be answered tomorrow. Hang in there.
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I can understand the worry. Please consult with someone regarding your benefits after a spouse dies.

    Actually, we found the funeral director very helpful in this aspect. They have tons of knowledge on who to contact for these things. They, afterall, do need to get paid. So they end up helping people get hooked up with the right people.
  10. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    The insurance listed on your mortgage papers is usually PMI or homeowner's. The 'pay it off if one of us die' insurance is usually a seperate policy.
  11. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Yes - what JJJ said.
  12. muttmeister

    muttmeister Well-Known Member

    I think it is pretty standard. Many lenders will not make the loan unless it is included. Mine was a separate policy but the cost was added to the cost of the mortgage. I don't think it was listed separately, we just paid it but I know I had it because after I got divorced I kept it up, kinda hoping I'd get to use it. (Not really, but...)
    I hope it all turns out OK for you but I think it should.
  13. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Lisa, here's what my banking-software-writing-really-financially-savvy Dad said - I sent him another question for clarification - but generally:

    Usually, if one buys a home and makes less than a 20% down payment, the bank/mortgage co can (and probably does) require "PMI", private mortgage insurance. The PMI would be where the payoff clause is - not the mortgage itself.

    However - due to a 1999 law, once the principal is paid down to 78% (or a total of 22% is paid off), the bank/mortgage co, if they were collecting the funds for PMI, must stop collecting. (If it was through a private co, the bank/mortgage co will have record of it, but it could have still been paid...)

    Does that help any? You're not looking at the mortgage, you're looking for the PMI... :biggrin:
  14. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

  15. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    House was 80,000, I put down 20,000. Is that 20 percent? (not a good brain morning)

    So is this PMI a separate form or something that we're looking for? We kept all house papers together from the sale. husband knew I'd skin him alive if he messed with them, the house is the only material thing that ever really meant anything to me, for obvious reasons. We don't see any separate form for a PMI, so unless the bank has it in their records, it doesn't exist. Which does not make sense when I made such a big deal about it.

    When it's down to the 78 percent and they stop paying on it........does that mean it stops being in effect after that, or you paid enough they don't charge more? We're down to about 58,000......not as good as I thought we were, considering the down payment I made. But I forgot it's a 30 yr mortgage too, so less principal is being paid each month.

    easy child is coming over shortly to call them. I'm going to make sure she asks if it would be easier if we just met with them in person and they can see my papers while looking through their papers. They're only 2 blocks away from me. This stuff can confuse me under the best circumstances quite easily. Right now it's just so much gobbledy gook. But I'll have her read what you're dad said before she calls them, tell him thanks for me.
  16. AnnieO

    AnnieO Shooting from the Hip

    Ahhhh... You put down 25%, meaning PMI would not be required.

    Which means it would have been voluntary, and very well could be something totally separate.

    As for it not being in effect anymore... I'm not sure about that. It could mean that enough is paid on the house, that they no longer consider you a foreclosure risk. I suspect it would depend on the individual policy. What that was, is that it is no longer required for the mortgage...

    If it was during the mortgage process that you made a big deal about it - the bank has something on file. HOWEVER... Due to the law I mentioned, they were not able to automatically collect as part of the mortgage payment, unless you or husband specifically told them to.

    I'm thinking, though, that there's something, because clearly you do remember it, and I cannot imagine that being something you would just create as a false memory. More likely that you would forget than that.

  17. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    easy child reached the loan officer, she's pulling the file now and going through it to see if she can find it. She said we should've received something with it on it, but it might have been overlooked but it would still be in their records. If this "she" is who I think it is, she is the one who handled the loan back when we did it. Seemed to me at the time to be excellent at her job and a really nice person.

    Oh, God, let it be there.

    I so clearly remember digging in my heels over it. I wasn't going to sign the paperwork until it was in place. I can't believe I can recall the whole scenerio and it be a false memory, that just doesn't make sense. I was so proud of myself for remembering to do it in the first place. (you'd have to understand how minimally my brain was working at the time)
  18. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    No advice, just hugs and prayers.
  19. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    You've gotten some great info here. I hope that the next time I check back, you have found the missing paperwork and all is well.
    Many hugs.
  20. keista

    keista New Member

    Someone else mentioned it, but you are NOT looking for PMI. PMI does not pay a death benefit, and is strictly for the lender's benefit if there is a foreclosure or short sale.

    You are looking for a Mortgage Protection Life insurance policy (may have a different name to it) Not necessarily part of the mortgage itself. Would more likely be a separate policy but can be through the lender.

    Keeping fingers crossed that this is what you have, because it sounds like what you wanted.