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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="buddy" data-source="post: 490631" data-attributes="member: 12886"><p>OH wow. well, your therapist is actually proving your point. That kind of talk therapy just does not work for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It has to be relationship therapy with people who understand all the tricks and dodges and the fact that these kids are now WIRED differently. They CANT explain what it is that is causing this. IT is just who they are for now. they need to have blow by blow, relationship skills worked on with them. </p><p></p><p>For now, not sure this would work for you but there are several of us here who write things out for our difficult child's. For example...the things to be earned.. ( be prepared to make copies and dont even get upset if they get ripped up, just tape up another copy) the t hings he needs to earn, and how to earn them can be clearly put out there.... FIRST: do X or hands to yourself, or only use your things, or whatever.... THEN can choose a, b c...</p><p></p><p>Be very specific. If he starts to ask for a, b c.... just say, HMM, I forgot, why not just check the list? (not sarcastic by the way, with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids you can't show your hand, you MUST be genuinely wanting them to check and be even tempered about it, not happy not upset, just neutral and caring that he will be able to handle this. ) That walking on egg shells feeling is really really exhausting, right? </p><p></p><p>You are doing well, sounds like you need what we all need here, cheer leaders! encouragement! support! You are doing a fantastic job and your gut is soooooo good.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="buddy, post: 490631, member: 12886"] OH wow. well, your therapist is actually proving your point. That kind of talk therapy just does not work for kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). It has to be relationship therapy with people who understand all the tricks and dodges and the fact that these kids are now WIRED differently. They CANT explain what it is that is causing this. IT is just who they are for now. they need to have blow by blow, relationship skills worked on with them. For now, not sure this would work for you but there are several of us here who write things out for our difficult child's. For example...the things to be earned.. ( be prepared to make copies and dont even get upset if they get ripped up, just tape up another copy) the t hings he needs to earn, and how to earn them can be clearly put out there.... FIRST: do X or hands to yourself, or only use your things, or whatever.... THEN can choose a, b c... Be very specific. If he starts to ask for a, b c.... just say, HMM, I forgot, why not just check the list? (not sarcastic by the way, with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) kids you can't show your hand, you MUST be genuinely wanting them to check and be even tempered about it, not happy not upset, just neutral and caring that he will be able to handle this. ) That walking on egg shells feeling is really really exhausting, right? You are doing well, sounds like you need what we all need here, cheer leaders! encouragement! support! You are doing a fantastic job and your gut is soooooo good. [/QUOTE]
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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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