Good afternoon all. I am new to this site but very happy to have come across it. Perhaps, I can find a spark of hope again. I am completely exhausted today from stress and anxiety and not sleeping well last night so this won't be long, but I promise to return with more energy. I am a full-time step-mother to an 11 year old boy, Brad. He has been a challenge ever since I came into his life 7 years ago. He has recently been diagnosed with Conduct Disorder, Personality Disorder (anti-social characteristics) and Major Depression. Lying has been a constant issue for the past 7 years but has increased in severity as he has gotten older. We now have stealing in the mix. He has gotten into trouble over stealing in the past, but it was not as much (or at least he didn't get caught). Over the past 2 weeks, he has stolen nearly daily. Initially, this started with my stuff, and I had to put a lock on my sewing/craft room door. He then moved onto his brother's room, things that may be on a counter, end table, etc.....and most recently he has taken items out of his dad's work truck, garage, etc. Just last evening, we discovered he had stolen a marker from his art teacher. So....this is now really moving outside of the home. Strategies work for about a 2-week period of time with him and then no longer work at all. He is a master manipulator so is constantly working every single situation trying to figure out how he will get around it. I know this is a control issue and, now that my husband and I are standing firm as one with him and not allowing the manipulation to divide us, it has gotten horrible and is exhausting! If he cannot be seen, he is into something. He has been told he needs to ask to do ANYTHING at all....we need to know at all times where he is and he is not to just do what he pleases, etc....house rules apply to everybody. He refuses to ask anything, simply will not do it. We are fine with that, it's his choice and we are not going to budge on this. He is spiraling out of control because he has/is losing control of this house, meaning he no longer is controlling the atmosphere as he once did and is no longer dividing his father and I as he once was able to do. Christmas Break from school is upon us and I have so much anxiety! I do not know how I will make it thru each and every day until January 4th...at least now I get a break to breath while he is at school. The bus will be here in about 10 minutes and I am 100% filled with nothing but dread. I do not sleep because he doesn't very good and is up quite a bit thru the night.....a part of me is scared for what could happen and the other part of me is so ****** off that he has invaded all of our privacy!! He has no remorse....if he does show emotion it is because he is either working some angle or upset because he got caught....not because of the act he carried out or the poor choice he made. I need to go....bus will be coming and I have got to get my game face on so he doesn't see my exhaustion.....(that would be exhilarating for him!!) Is there anybody else going thru this or anybody that has?? Any advice is needed and plez pray for me. Not sure how much more I can take because I am so tired and mentally exhausted. We live over 1000 miles away from any family so NEVER get a break and refuse to leave him in the care of his older brother (who is a great kid without any issues)....we've tried it and it was complete chaos as he totally did what he wanted when he wanted.....(issues with lighting candles and wax all over floors, etc). Just heard the bus.....wave of anxiety just rushed over me. Any help is sooooo very appreciated. Just wanted to quickly add a bit more information......Brad's hygiene is something to be desired. When taking a shower, unless we go in there or TELL him, he will not use soap. He has also had some issues with stooling such as not wiping after defecating, wiping and leaving the soiled toilet tissue hanging all out of the garbage can, as well as smearing fecal matter on the bathroom counter top. When asked about it, he said he didn't have toilet tissue and it got on his hand.....was not true, toilet tissue is ALWAYS available! And in most cases, if it did get on his hand, one would wash their hands and not smear it on counter top and leave it. About a week later, there was such a stench coming from his room, I went in to do a deep clean and found a towel that had fecal matter on it, as well as fecal matter rubbed down the side of his dresser. When my husband asked him about it, he stated it happened the same day the counter top issue happened. He then said nothing more, just stared blankly with the "deer in the headlights" look. The issues with fecal matter have happened about 4 times over the past 3 years (that we know of anyway). There also, about 4 years ago, was a situation where he was swimming in our pool with about 5 other kids and stated he had to go to the bathroom. Since he was in the pool, I just told him to go behind the gazebo (thinking he simply had to urinate) instead of trackin' water all thru the house. This is what they normally do when in the pool and have too urinate, then hose it down with bleach. Anyway.....Brad jumped right out of the pool at the opposite end, dropped his swimming trunks, squatted and proceeded to defecate right at the edge of the pool in front of everybody. I couldn't believe my eyes!! When he was finished he was told to get whatever he needed to get it cleaned up and all hek broke loose as he refused. Needless to say, I did not clean it up.....he did. There are a bazillion other things, weird behaviors, etc., that have happended/transpired but way to much to get into right now. Nothing phases him as far as consequences....has even gotten to the point where he just looks and smirks at whoever is addressing whatever issue it is at that moment. Thanks again for listening God Bless and, if nothing else, thank you so much just for listening.