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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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<blockquote data-quote="Rachielee" data-source="post: 490643" data-attributes="member: 13435"><p>Yeppers, we've to the charts up! <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> I did that because his dad gets so pre-occupied with other things so Brad was able to completely manipulate every single situation and it always ended up with my husband having attitude towards me (which left Brad smiling like a champ!) With charts, there is no question as to what was agreed upon, what consequences are for actions, what privileges are for making good choices, etc... Nobody can say I didn't agree to that! I got sick of being the bad guy time after time and getting caught in the middle of a whole lotta mood changes. It doesn't seem to make a difference with Brad, but it has for me because nobody can gang up on anybody when the manipulation is at its highest ya' know? Have you found that the monotone, no emotion, fact talking upsets the child? I always am aware of my tone and what is coming out of my mouth when it comes to dealing....I remain very calm (even though I may be a crazed lunatic inside at that moment! lol) If he does not get a rise out of me, it seems to upset him, which I understand is a control thing. I know it always gets worse before it gets better so am ever so patiently (ya' right) waiting for the gets better part.....guess we are still on the getting worse part, which also makes sense because he has been reeled in again for the stealing spree and he doesn't like that at all. I did explain to him it was not punishment, but it was to protect him because we love him so much and he seemed to accept that. He doesn't like it but thats okay too! He is working me hard core this morning already.....sweet as a bucket of pure sugar! Definately need to be on my tippy toes today!!</p><p></p><p>Thank you so much for your support and caring words!! You are right, we all need support and I know nobody has compassion like a mother!! My husband is not a compassionate person at all....very black and white! Just meeting ya'll since yesterday has definately put a little pep in my step so hugs to you from my house to yours! Best Christmas present ever!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Rachielee, post: 490643, member: 13435"] Yeppers, we've to the charts up! :) I did that because his dad gets so pre-occupied with other things so Brad was able to completely manipulate every single situation and it always ended up with my husband having attitude towards me (which left Brad smiling like a champ!) With charts, there is no question as to what was agreed upon, what consequences are for actions, what privileges are for making good choices, etc... Nobody can say I didn't agree to that! I got sick of being the bad guy time after time and getting caught in the middle of a whole lotta mood changes. It doesn't seem to make a difference with Brad, but it has for me because nobody can gang up on anybody when the manipulation is at its highest ya' know? Have you found that the monotone, no emotion, fact talking upsets the child? I always am aware of my tone and what is coming out of my mouth when it comes to dealing....I remain very calm (even though I may be a crazed lunatic inside at that moment! lol) If he does not get a rise out of me, it seems to upset him, which I understand is a control thing. I know it always gets worse before it gets better so am ever so patiently (ya' right) waiting for the gets better part.....guess we are still on the getting worse part, which also makes sense because he has been reeled in again for the stealing spree and he doesn't like that at all. I did explain to him it was not punishment, but it was to protect him because we love him so much and he seemed to accept that. He doesn't like it but thats okay too! He is working me hard core this morning already.....sweet as a bucket of pure sugar! Definately need to be on my tippy toes today!! Thank you so much for your support and caring words!! You are right, we all need support and I know nobody has compassion like a mother!! My husband is not a compassionate person at all....very black and white! Just meeting ya'll since yesterday has definately put a little pep in my step so hugs to you from my house to yours! Best Christmas present ever!! [/QUOTE]
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Strugglin' horribly with 11 year old with Conduct Disorder & Personality Disorder
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